Into the Book
by Brackenfrond
Summary: Because life can never be boring and simple. Oh no, Caleb just HAD to get brought into a book with his twin sister and go on a journey to reclaim Erebor. He knew the books, he knew the characters - knowing how to survive? Not so much. Brilliant. T because I don't know where I'm going with this.
1. Caleb I

"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we were someone else?"

"I hope you mean that as in 'if we were still twins'."

Catherine rolled her eyes, lying on the sofa as she stared at the whitewashed ceiling. Her short black hair was coloured with light blue streaks and was covering her eyes slightly. Her brother, Caleb, was sitting on an armchair, nose in The Hobbit, but now his blue eyes, identical to Cat's, were trained on his younger twin.

"Of course I mean that. If I didn't have you, I'd either be arrested or dead, depending on what world we're talking about."

It was the truth, Caleb thought. Cat was the more reckless half of them – the one who would dive in, head first, into any situation without thinking through the consequences of her actions. The only reason she hadn't gotten detentions at school was because Caleb would stop her from jumping into fights or arguing with members of staff.

Cat sat up, legs across the arm of the sofa as she looked at her brother, almost inquiringly. Caleb raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you reading The Hobbit again?"

"I like J.R.R Tolkien's style. His characters. Just everything." He responded. "The movie was good, too."

"Sure was." Cat replied. "Being in The Hobbit would be cool, wouldn't it? Being on an adventure through god knows where and fighting and stuff."

"Not to mention it being incredibly dangerous." Caleb rolled his eyes. "But you wouldn't think about minor details like that, would you?"

"No. Because we'd know what would happen, so we'd just be epic at stopping the bad stuff from happening."

"But we wouldn't be able to tell anyone we know what would happen. Or why they're happening and stuff." Caleb sighed. "You really don't think stuff through, do you?"

"I do…sometimes…" Catherine trailed off, her hand brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, showing off her silver ear cuff. It was in an elaborate, Celtic looking design, covering her helix and stopping about halfway down her ear where it turned into a silver chain and connected to the piercing in her ear lobe. She had many piercings on both her ears, but wore only a simple, sapphire looking stud on her right ear lobe. Cat had done most of this without their mother's permission, and had gotten a right telling off for doing so anyway. Not like she cared. Cat never cared about breaking rules, really. "But thinking things through is rather boring at times, don't you think?"

"I wouldn't know." Caleb commented dryly. "As I have to think things through for both of us most of the time, don't I?"

"True, true." Cat conceded, before standing up, stretching. "It's, like, half ten and mum still isn't home."

"I'm off to bed." Caleb stated, carefully placing a bookmark between two pages and closing the book shut. "Coming?"

"I guess." Cat shrugged, pulling her brother up. "I'm tired."

As Caleb said goodnight to his sister and made his way to his room, changing and pulling back the covers as he settled down for the night, his mind returned to their earlier discussion. How life would be if they were different. It would be interesting, he reasoned, to see how things would play out.

He didn't realise, as he closed his eyes, how weird life was going to get.

XoooX

Caleb groaned, clamping hands over his ears at the sound of footsteps and rolled over, promptly crashing into a body next to him. Well, that caused his eyes to shoot right open and back up, staring.

Ok, this was so not his bedroom.

Grass and sky and trees and his sister. Cat looked grumpy herself, eyes half closed as she tried to gather herself together. She wasn't wearing her pyjamas – what a relief – but a green tunic type thing and brown trousers. Her boots reached just below her knees, and were brown with laces. A pair of brown, fingerless gloves adorned her hands. A lot less extravagant than her usual attire. Her hair was still short, but absent of the bright coloured streaks. Her ears still held her piercings.

This made Caleb take notice of his own appearance. He was dressed mostly the same as Cat, except his boots were more sturdy looking and didn't travel as fair up his legs and the gloves were absent.

"Ohmygodwhatthehellisgoingon?" Cat yelped, staring at the road. That was how Caleb knew something was wrong – Catherine forgot to pause between words when she panicked, was high on sugar or squealing over something sweet. From the words he could detect – 'what', 'hell' and 'going on' – Caleb knew that it was the first one. He looked up.

And stared.

Blinked.

And stared some more.

Ok. That was Gandalf. That was bloody impossible because Gandalf wasn't real and – wait. He was asleep. Maybe…he pinched himself. It hurt and the wizard was still there, looking at the two of them in concern.

He was real.

"Shit. You see this, don't you?" Cat hissed urgently. Caleb nodded and Cat cursed some more. And very violently. Caleb really didn't want to know where she learnt those words and could do with never hearing them again. "But…that's fucking Gandalf!"

"No! I didn't notice!"

"Excuse me." Catherine stopped glaring at Caleb to look up at the wizard. "I'm afraid I do not know either of you."

"Well, you wouldn't." Caleb said, taking this surprisingly well. Cat, on the other hand, was staring open mouthed. "But I – well, we – know you and –"

"How would you know me?"

"Um…"

"And why are you sitting by the side of the path?"

Caleb blanched. He really was rubbish when it came to explaining stuff. Fortunately, Cat burst into a detailed description of what had happened, how they knew him and so on and so forth.

"And I woke up when my idiotic brother decided to roll on top of me and bam! I was here. And this isn't supposed to be a real place, because there are bloody books about it and films and that's how we know about you but you don't know about us." Gandalf looked slightly sceptical. Caleb accepted that.

"I am heading to see Bilbo Baggins. You know of him?"

"Yes." Cat answered, getting to her feet shakily. She pulled Caleb up. "Why do you ask?"

"Would you like to go on a journey?"

"Would we!" Catherine's eyes sparkled, answering for both of them. Caleb didn't even get to input his answer, which would have been something along the lines of 'yes', so really it didn't matter much. He also knew which book they were on, or in, or whatever. The Hobbit. He hoped it was the film version – Cat actually knew and remembered what happened in the film. She'd given up on the book a few pages in, because she couldn't get into it, which was typical of her, really. He realised that both had turned to him and Caleb was sort of not paying any attention.

"Um…I didn't catch that?" Cat rolled blue eyes, frustrated and let out a huff.

"We're moving. And Gandalf asked for your name."

"You could have given him that."

"I didn't want to."

"Typical of you." Cat stuck her tongue out immaturely as Caleb turned to the wizard, who looked rather amused. "It's Caleb. Caleb Adams."

"So, Master Caleb and Lady Catherine, shall we make our way there?"

"Well, obviously." Cat gestured absently with her hand. "Lead the way, your wizardly-ness."

Gandalf looked at her in amusement as he walked past and the two twins walked behind him.

"Wizardly-ness?"

"Well, he's a wizard."

"I doubt your sanity."

"Isn't that a daily occurrence?"

"…you do have a point."

XoooX

"We should stay away from the group of dwarves crowding the door. We shall end up falling over otherwise."

"Duly noted."

Caleb was actually relieved that he knew what was going to happen, but it was common sense to stay away from a crowd of people attempting to barge into one door because when it was answered, it was bound to cause an avalanche of people. The twins stayed around the outskirts with Gandalf. When the door was open, they weren't surprised to see the dwarves fall over, nor a disgruntled Bilbo Baggins.

"Gandalf." He did not sound pleased. But, then again, who would be when twelve dwarves, a wizard and two of the race of men (as they were called here) decided to show up, uninvited, at your house? Caleb would have gotten them out a long time ago. He did feel rather sorry for the hobbit.

Eventually, they were all gathered around the dining table. Caleb felt oddly tall, but fortunately he was short enough that he wasn't crashing against anything if he bent over slightly. Cat, who was quite a bit smaller than him, was slouching against a wall, eating an apple. They were garnering stares from the dwarves. That wasn't unexpected – they weren't exactly canon compliant. Caleb made a vow to stop Cat reading fan fictions and such when they got back. It was going to end up messing with his head, especially when she was obviously going to 'ship' Bilbo and Thorin. He pitied them both greatly.

"My friends, this is Master Caleb and Lady Catherine –"Gandalf was momentarily cut off by Catherine coughing, sounding suspiciously like 'it's Cat', before continuing. "- who will be accompanying you on your journey."

Caleb found the stares disconcerting and shuffled awkwardly. He never was very good in social situations. Cat merely gave a jaunty salute, before taking another bite out of the apple in her hand.

"Wotcher!" She received blank looks.

"It's how she says 'hello', because she isn't normal." I supplied helpfully.

"How nice of you to notice." Cat retorted dryly, before her eyes landed on Fili and Kili. She grinned. _Oh, shit_. "I like your moustache."

"Uh…thanks?" Fili tilted his head, as though in question. Caleb was surprised she hadn't a) insulted him or b) hit on him. Yes, Catherine had a habit of mentally dating fictional characters, as many teenage girls did. It was something Caleb was very used to, having grown up with the over-the-top girl.

Sometimes, he wondered why they were twins.

They were ushered into seats and slowly introduced to the dwarves currently gathered.

"Oh my gosh, there are too many names!" Catherine pretended to faint. Caleb gave her a criticising look, before turning to the rest of the company.

"Ignore her. She's an idiot."

"Am not!" Came her muffled reply. Caleb poked her shoulder.

"Are you two related?" Kili asked.

"We're twins." Caleb replied. "At least, that is what I have been told. I am beginning to have doubts."

"I've always had doubts." Cat was sitting up properly now, helping herself to a bread roll.

"Decided to return to the world of the living, have we?" Caleb asked mildly.

"Yeah. Being unconscious was boring."

"So, this quest." Caleb tried to turn the conversation to something normal, as both were earning baffled or amused looks, which wasn't very surprising. "Care to explain it?" Not like he _needed _it to be explained, but he had to pretend to be oblivious.

"We will, when Thorin comes." Balin said. Caleb could accept that, because he already knew what the quest was and all. Bilbo looked slightly annoyed at that, not that the boy could really blame him or anything. He would be very, very annoyed if he had to wait for someone to show up to find out why people had randomly shown up at his house. Fortunately, that wasn't his situation at the moment and he was rather hungry, so nabbed a bread roll like Cat and began to tear it apart, eating it piece by piece.

The dwarves helped themselves to tons of food, but Caleb decided to eat only what he needed. Poor Bilbo didn't ask to have his pantry raided by dwarves. Catherine had no such restrictions, eating a lot and talking with the Oakenshield brothers about random stuff. Caleb mostly listened to the conversations. Catherine was the overly social one in the duo. Caleb was quiet and rather secluded, preferring the company of his books and such to living beings. They confused him.

Once they had finished, Cat sipping some water, Caleb caught the tail end of the conversation Bilbo was having with Gandalf – something along the lines of getting them out of his house. Caleb, once again, felt pity towards the hobbit. The poor, unfortunate soul.

"What should I do with my plate?" Well, he really should have been expecting _that_. Cat shot him a wink across the table, mouthing 'that's what Bilbo Baggins hates' to him. He rolled his eyes, before Bilbo cut across the knife battle thing that had ensued between the dwarves currently at the table. Caleb decided it would be best to try and remember their names. He assumed they were Bofur, Dori, Gloin and Nori. Honestly, what was with the similar sounding names? It must be a family thing.

"Don't do that, you'll blunt the knives!"

"Hear that lads? We'll blunt the knives!" Laughter ensued and Cat mouthed a count-down. Three…two…one…

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks –"

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks,"

The twins, admittedly, had good singing voices. In Caleb's opinion, this was a very glee-like moment, bursting into spontaneous song. Catherine seemed to not mind this, tapping the rhythm on the table, mouthing the words as the twins sang, before joining in with the dwarves. She loved doing stuff that normal people wouldn't consider…well, normal.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates,

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth, tread on the fat,

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat,

Pour the milk on the pantry floor,

Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl!

Pound them up with a thumping pole!

And when you're finished if any are whole

Send them down the hall to roll!"

Cat was laughing during the instrumental break – for Christ's sake, one of them was playing a bloody teapot! How the hell did you play a teapot? Caleb had little musical knowledge and/or talent, only garnering what he knew from his sisters tastes in music and her piano lessons. To be honest, he would rather stay out of any musical business, thank you very much. They were highly efficient at cleaning stuff up, though. It was the least they could offer for humiliating poor Bilbo and eating all his food and drinking all his…well, drinks. He hastily shoved the remainder of his bread roll into his mouth.

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

Cheers erupted, Caleb rolling his eyes as he stood up and made his way over to the hobbit, who looked rather over whelmed.

"Sorry about all this…well, I'm mostly apologising for our, 'our' being me and Cat, invasion of your house and her being an insensitive idiot." One of the dwarves had said something, causing her to roar with laughter along with the rest of the group. Caleb suppressed yet another eye roll.

"Oh, i-it's fine. Yes. I'd just like to know what possessed Gandalf to –to bring them all here!" Bilbo wrung his hands together.

There was a knock at the door and, immediately, the dwarves quietened down. So, this was the arrival of Thorin Oakenshield. Honestly, it was so…

"Dramatic much?" Cat muttered, voicing Caleb's thoughts. It was times like these when the boy was proud to call the rebellious Catherine his twin. Sometimes, they were actually on the same line of thought.

"Shh." Kili slapped a hand over her mouth and the dwarves got up, gathering around the door. Cat shot Kili an annoyed glare, before Caleb could practically _see_ the devilish smile in her eyes as he jerked his hand away, looking disgusted.

"You _licked_ me!"

"Yes. Yes I did." With that, she flounced off and stood next to her brother as Bilbo attempted to make his way through the crowd of dwarves. Caleb sighed. Then there were moments like then, when he definitely did doubt that he had any relation to his so-called sister.

XoOoX

…I don't even know anymore.

My mum got the Hobbit yesterday. I watched it. And died, flailing ungracefully and then it ended and it felt like my life was over.

I found a new obsession. *cheers and fanfares go off*

I am, like, one chapter into the book and yeah…

I don't know where I'm going with this. I'll probably randomly update and stuff. So, yeah.

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	2. Catherine II

"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find." Cat raised an eyebrow. Thorin was exactly as portrayed in the film. Kudos to whoever produced the films in that department – she'd never looked up the names because, frankly, she couldn't care less. "I lost my way. Twice." Caleb muttered something under his breath about maps and directions. Cat rolled her eyes. Her brother was so practical. As always.

Bilbo was complaining about there being a mark on his door. Catherine felt sorry for the hobbit, she really did, but to be honest, he was boring. He reminded her of her brother at the beginning – not wanting to be adventurous. Not wanting a break in the normalcy, in the monotony. He needed to loosen up a little. Gandalf mentioned something about putting the mark on the door, but Cat didn't pay attention. She'd heard this before. No need to hear it again.

"Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company – Thorin Oakenshield." Dramatic much? It was like the entire place had been taken out of a film.

Wait. Scratch that.

It was out of the film.

Damn, those producers were _good_.

"This is the hobbit?" And shipping alert. Cat didn't deny the fact that she shipped the two. Hard. Why? There was so much sexual tension between them. She could feel it in the air. Caleb placed a restraining hand on her elbow.

She heeded it for now. Later on was where the fun would begin.

"And these are Lady Catherine and Master Caleb Adams. They have volunteered to join you on your journey." Thorin's attention turned to them, eyes critical. Caleb did an odd half bow.

"Caleb Adams, at your service." Kiss up. Cat flashed a smile and a peace sign. She received odd looks at that and Caleb stood on her foot. She winced, shooting him a glare. Thorin turned back to Gandalf and Catherine could feel the anger oozing off of him.

"I can accept the boy, Gandalf. But the girl will weigh us down. Does she even know how to fight?"

"She is standing right behind you." Cat replied in a sickly sweet voice. Caleb inched away. Things normally got ugly when Cat used her sweet tone of voice and he'd experienced it the last time the jocks decided to pick on him. That had been back when he was sixteen. Three years later and there had been no incidents similar to that Cat could recall. "And she has been in fights her entire life. Not with weapons, but with fists. I'm no 'lady'."

That was true. She was one of the boys. She doubted she could be a young lady even if she tried. From Cat's short hair to her leather boots which she used to wear, she didn't exactly fit the description of 'damsel in distress'.

"I can account for that." Caleb piped up. "If anyone can be of any use on a quest or journey or whatever, it's Cat. She's been fighting her entire life. I've had to pull her out of one to many scrapes." Catherine frowned.

"You've only ever pulled me out of one fight. Which I was winning, mind. Joshua had a lovely black eye for a week after that."

"One fight is one to many." Caleb responded, leaning against the wall.

"What skills do you have, then?" Kili looked genuinely curious. Caleb smirked that annoying, all knowing smirk.

"I'm more of the…researcher's side. I know things."

"He's also nifty with a bow and arrow." Cat decided to pipe up. It was true. They'd gone to a camp one summer and Caleb was ace at aiming, and had managed to get a bull's-eye. Cat didn't have as neat an aim. "His aim is perfect."

"You stabbed a man through the hand with a _twig_." Eyes turned to her, mouths slightly gaping. Even Thorin and Gandalf looked surprised.

Technically, it wasn't a man. They had a self-defence lesson in school once and the person had brought in a dummy and an array of everyday objects. The twig was actually a blunt pencil. Cat had been called up and had to defend herself from her 'attacker' with the pencil. So she prodded him in the eye with it, and rammed it through his hand.

It didn't go all the way through, but it would hurt like hell.

The instructor looked faintly impressed, and very scared.

"I guess she can come." Thorin admitted grudgingly. Cue the internal cheering and happy dance.

Eventually, they were all situated in the dining room. Caleb was standing up to the side, slouching against the wall. Cat sat cross legged on the floor. The floor was much more comfortable than a chair, so declined when Bilbo asked if she wanted one. She was confidently ignoring the odd looks she garnered. She was used to them, after all.

Catherine obviously knew of the entire quest thing. And the dragon. It was fun to listen to Bofur's description of it again.

"Well, how many then?"

"What?"

"How many dragons have you killed?"

And the rabble from around the table as Gandalf was asked about how many dragons he had killed. If you counted video game dragons, such as those on Skyrim, Cat was sure she'd killed about twenty. But she couldn't be sure.

Thorin gave an inspiring speech about taking back what was theirs and stuff along those lines. She'd never be sure what mattered to him – home or gold. But he was inspiring, she had to admit. He was a person she could follow.

Not that she'd follow him quietly, of course. That was most certainly not the way Catherine Adams rolled.

And then there was the key. Gandalf appeared to produce it from thin air – magic could do anything, couldn't it? – and gave it to Thorin.

"If there's a key…there must be a door." Fili reasoned.

"No shit, Sherlock." Cat muttered, causing Caleb to hide his laugh with a cough. The gathered ignored them, mostly.

"There's another way in." Kili was grinning. Hope. There was hope. And Gandalf completely trashed that into the ground, and burned it to ashes saying that dwarf doors were invisible when closed (which Catherine figured was highly inconvenient and decided that she would not get a dwarf door) and that the answer lay hidden in the map.

"Let's see your usefulness." Thorin turned to Adam. "Any ideas on where, exactly, the secret to getting in may be hidden?"

"In the map." Caleb responded. Cat blinked as sniggers came from a few of the dwarves. He had obtained some of her sass. Shit. She was rubbing off on her brother. What if Caleb was rubbing off on her? She thought happy thoughts. Bagginshield, Durin brothers and dragons. Deep breath in…and out. She was fine. "But, if you're talking about where on the map, I assume it will be in moon writing. Only can be read when the map was written, the moon in the same phase, and during the night." He shrugged. "Other than that, I don't know."

Thorin looked displeased. Cat was impressed with her brother. How he could remember all that, she didn't know.

Blah, blah, blah, more talking. Caleb looked enraptured, but Catherine wasn't overly bothered about the talking. She'd never been one to pay attention to stuff like that.

When Bilbo was reading through the contract, looking paler and paler by the second, Cat was observing the dwarves. They didn't look anything like the Disney ones, that was for sure and their names were more…majestic. Well, in most cases, anyway. Thorin Oakenshield was a rather majestic name, right?

"Lacerations…incineration?" He looked up incredulously.

"Well, you see…we're sort of going to be fighting a dragon." Cat emphasised the word dragon. "They have a nasty habit of breathing fire. Thus, incineration." Caleb kicked her.

"Think furnace, with wings." Bofur added 'helpfully'. Note the quotation marks. This means that it was, obviously, not very helpful.

"Did you know that death by burning is the most painful way to die?" Catherine added cheerfully. Bilbo looked like he was going to pass out. She really should shut up, but Cat realised a long time ago that she had no filters. Plus, she'd never get this opportunity again.

"Cat, shut up!" Caleb looked torn between horror and amusement, trying to kick her again. Cat moved. Honestly, she wasn –

"OW!" He hit her head.

"Serves you right."

Thump! And Bilbo had fainted. Poor guy.

XoooX

"This is so cool!" Cat was sulking as Caleb notched an arrow in the bow he had been given by Fili. It was one of his brother's spares and Caleb handled it with ease.

"You ready?" Kili grinned. Caleb winked, before firing, it hitting in between two panels as he'd planned, but just narrowly missing Ori.

"Sorry!" Caleb yelled as the dwarf scurried away. "How was that?"

"You have potential." Fili smirked, before turning to Cat. "And you. What weapon do you need."

"Give me a sharp stick – I'll poke out the dragon's eye with it." She suggested. Cat remembered something about a dragon's weakness being its eyes, but that might have been in Harry Potter.

"There won't just be dragons, silly." Caleb shook his head. "Orcs, goblins, trolls…"

"You wouldn't have knives, would you?" Cat asked abruptly. "Or daggers?"

"You'll kill yourself." Caleb immediately butted in. Catherine smiled that smile which practically reeked of danger.

"No, I'll be killing evil things." She replied. "I'm quick, I'm rather small. I'll be there and they'll be dead before they know what hit them."

"As long as they're not a spider." Caleb sang and Cat looked ready to pounce on him. She nearly did, if Kili didn't restrain her.

"Spider?"

"Creepy little buggers. All gross and funny looking and…" Catherine shuddered. Violently.

"Don't worry." Fili appeared to be holding back laughter. "We'll step on them for you." Cat shot him a vicious glare, before managing to get herself out of Kili's grip and stalking off.

"Where are you going?" Caleb asked, brow furrowing.

"To talk to someone who won't make fun of my perfectly rational fear." She stubbornly ignored the roar of laughter that gained from Fili as she made to go outside, tears pricking at her eyes.

Catherine Adams didn't cry. She never, ever cried.

The night was cool. Cat turned her eyes skywards, amazed at how clear the sky was, stars dappling the surface and shining like precious stones. It was incredible, really, how electric light could damage what people could see at night.

There was a bang, the door closing, and footsteps, which abruptly stopped.

"Lady Catherine."

"It's Cat. Just Cat." Catherine turned to face Bilbo, who looked rather annoyed. "I'm sorry about earlier." She smiled, slightly sheepish. "Caleb says I have no filters."

"It's fine. It made me realise I'm not fit for this quest." He sighed, looking defeated. "Why are you out here?"

"Kili and Fili were pi – uh, making fun of me, because I'm scared of…uh…" She wasn't about to admit that she was scared of a bug in front of the hobbit. When she looked at his face, she was surprised to find him staring.

"You stabbed a man with a stick and you're scared of something?"

"Everyone's scared of something." Cat said. "I'm scared of ever being separated from Caleb – he's my twin, like my other half. Caleb's not scared of heights, but of falling. Also realising he doesn't know something, but that's just what I think." She winked.

"I'm scared of absolutely everything." Bilbo said, looking disheartened. Catherine resisted rolling her eyes.

"You're not. You're not scared of me, or anyone in there…well, Thorin's pretty scary, but I'm sure he has a heart. Somewhere." Cat shrugged. "Someone once kept their heart in a chest." Ok, it was a total Pirates of the Caribbean reference, but Bilbo didn't need to know that. He pulled a disgusted face.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I told you – no filters." Catherine sighed. "But the point I'm trying – and failing – to make is that everyone's scared of something, be it something ridiculous like long words – it's called hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, which is really stupid in my opinion – or something completely normal, like dragons." She looked pointedly at Bilbo. "Is that the best thing to do is confront them. I'm confronting my completely rational fear by going on this journey. You will to. Besides, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity – it's better to take all the opportunities you get then sit at home, wondering 'what if'."

"I…yeah, I understand where you're coming from." Bilbo bit his lip. "But at least you can defend yourself. I've never done that before in my life."

"It's simple, really." Cat grinned. "Just thrash around madly if you're found. They'll end up dropping you instead of trying to eat you – too much trouble."

"That's very comforting."

"I'm not good with 'comforting'." Cat stated bluntly. "I'm more of a 'say what's on your mind' kind of person. But that's what I've learned. And stabbing someone with a strong stick isn't that hard – just push down with all your weight. It's small surface area, so it hurts more." She said.

"I just…I don't know." Bilbo put his head in his hands. Cat patted the top of his head sympathetically.

"Think it over, yeah? It's either do it, or keep wondering." And she disappeared back into the hobbit hole, leaving Bilbo to muse over her words.

XoooX

It was the singing that sealed it for them.

Catherine had wanted to go on the journey from the very start, and so did Caleb, but merely for the fun of it. They knew what was going to happen and Caleb was determined to make the outcome better this time. But it wasn't until they heard the song that they realised this quest was much more important and not just a game.

"Far over the misty mountains cold.

To dungeons deep, and caverns old.

We must away, ere break of day,

To find our long, forgotten gold.

The pines were roaring, on the height.

The winds were moaning, in the night.

The fire was red, its flames, they spread,

The trees like torches, blazed with light."

It filled Cat with a sense of longing. A sense of…of home. She did miss her home, but it hadn't hit her greatly until hearing that song. It hit her like an avalanche. She'd had a home for nineteen years, though, and these dwarves had gone for, what, sixty years without one.

Caleb and she exchanged a look. The boy inclined his head. A simple sign, but one Cat could read without any trouble – a sign of yes, we'll go. A sign of agreement.

She knocked lightly on the doorframe and heads turned toward her and her brother. "Hey." There was a murmured greeting and, being Cat, she got straight to the point. "What do we need to sign?"

"You're coming?" Fili gave her an inquisitive look and she inclined her head.

"Actually, we're coming." Caleb said.

"Why?" Kili frowned, looking confused. As though he couldn't think of why to humans would join them on their journey.

"Because you're going home." Catherine replied simply. "And everyone needs a home. And you do not yet have one."

"Balin." Thorin spoke up. "Give them the papers. It appears as though we definitely have two more travellers to accompany us on our quest."

XoOoX

Another chapter.

I'm going to do alternate views – it will go Caleb, then Cat, unless I think that a certain chapter would be better written from the other characters perspective.

Gonna re-watch LotR. Oh, nostalgia…

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	3. Caleb III

Caleb yawned, stretching and blinking sleepily as the room around him came into focus. He'd expected to wake up in his bed in his room at home, but instead was sitting against a wall, Cat sprawled out across his lap, snoozing peacefully. His neck had a crick in it, from the odd position he had been asleep in.

It was definitely not a dream, then. What had happened to him and Cat was actually real.

He wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or a bad thing.

"Cat. Cat, wake up." Caleb shifted his leg, causing Catherine to start, eyes opening wide.

"Shit, we're still here." Her eyes took in her surroundings, the thirteen Dwarves who were once sleeping haphazardly in Bilbo's living room now gone, most likely to the kitchen. That was where the food was, after all. "I thought it was a dream."

"I wish it was a dream." Caleb sighed. "How're we going to get home, Cat?"

The thought hadn't crossed his mind before, but now it was at the forefront of it, fear coursed through him. Home. Oh, dear God was their mom panicking? Were things still happening there? Were they going to be able to even get home?

"You're up." Caleb raised his head, eyes squinting against the sun at the silhouette of Kili as he looked down at the brother and sister duo. He was odd, compared to the other dwarves, with barely a beard and no braids, whereas the others had at least one braid each and a beard, be it long or not. Kili only had stubble. He supposed it would help him when he was shooting. A beard would get caught in the bowstring, wouldn't it? "Good. We're leaving soon. Bombur's cooking breakfast – eggs and bacon."

And Cat was out the door in a flash. Caleb sighed, getting up at a much more sedate pace. His entire body groaned and creaked in protest. Kili winced.

"You should have taken the free seat – I offered you it. I'm used to sleeping rough." Caleb blinked, surveying the dwarf. His face was turned away from him, but the boy could have sworn he was slightly pink faced.

"I'm fine." Caleb said, stretching out, grimacing as he felt joints click. "Just need to loosen myself up."

"Alright." Kili nodded, seeming satisfied. "Come on, let's get you some breakfast."

The kitchen was crowded with dwarves, all eating with no table manners what so ever. It made Cat, who was picking at her bacon with her fingers, appear to have immaculate table skills, which she did not. She was laughing at something Fili had said, his plate having been licked clean. Kili sat next to his brother, helping himself to about three fried eggs and a quite a few bacon rashers. Caleb settled for a fried egg and four rashers of bacon, taking the free seat next to Catherine.

"Eat that quickly." Cat pointed with the fork she had now picked up to the plate in front of Caleb. "Thorin's being moody. Wants us moving as soon as possible."

"What about Bilbo?"

"He won't wait for our burglar, you know." Fili said, stealing a piece of uneaten bacon from Cat's plate. The girl let out a 'hey' in protest, but was stubbornly ignored. "He thinks that he won't show up."

"I bet you he will." Catherine chimed. Caleb rolled his eyes. Of course she would bet that the hobbit would show up – she knew that he would. One of the perks of knowing what was going to happen in the future.

"How much?" Fili asked, smirking.

"Hmmm…how about four gold pieces?"

"Four? Sure you're able to afford that?" Caleb asked. "Because you have no money. At all. We are broke."

"Chill, Caleb." Catherine beamed at her brother, before turning to a confused, yet slightly amused, looking Fili. "If I lose and get any gold on the quest –"

"Which you will, as we get a share of Smaug's treasure if we kill him." Kili added. Cat ignored him.

"- I'll give you it then. 'Kay? We have a deal!" She stuck her hand out and Fili took it almost hesitantly, shaking it in agreement.

"I suggest you don't take the bet she offers you." Caleb hissed to a slightly freaked out looking Kili. "It won't turn out well."

"I'll take your advice seriously." Kili responded, eyes trained on Catherine as she danced around the table with a maddeningly scary grin on her face. She was making bets with the other dwarves. Caleb knew she was going to get tons of cash because of this. He'd only warned Kili. He felt as though the dwarf, who had actually been nice to him, deserved to not lose money because of his sister's knowledge of the future. "But, out of curiosity, what do you think the burglar will do?"

"The burglar has a name." Caleb rolled his eyes. "But still, I think he'll come."

"He seemed pretty reluctant last night."

"Well, a lot can change overnight." The boy hummed. "I doubt he'll turn down an adventure so quickly."

"Do you really believe that?" Kili looked at him with inquisitive eyes, as though trying to decide where he was coming from. Caleb smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

XoooX

"How are we supposed to get up there?" Cat squinted up at the horse who seemed to whinny at her in disapproval. "Don't mock me, sir!"

"It's a mare – that means its 'ma'am', not sir, by the way." Caleb pointed out. Thorin had given Catherine a criticising look when she attempted to figure out how to get onto her horse.

Gandalf had come prepared, apparently, with two extra horses, which were black. Catherine commented on how they were the horse versions of the twins. Caleb had to agree with her – the mare had the same amount of attitude as Cat did. He'd also had extra bags, saying that he'd found them in almost the exact same spot he had picked Catherine and Caleb up from. One of them contained the Hobbit, but in a dark green, hardback cover. Caleb had been given responsibility of that bag, as he was less likely to blurt stuff out and was the one who actually kept his books in relatively good condition. It also had a small bag of gold, some changes of clothes and some other books which Caleb adored, amongst them being the Two Towers and the Deathly Hallows.

The other bag had a small bag of gold and some changes of clothes, but in Cat's size, so she got that bag, obviously. There was also a small, silver coloured box containing more of her earrings and a gold locket which had a picture of their father in it. Cat had immediately put it on, along with changing her piercings to two, plain silver studs. It would be rubbish if her more extravagant ones got snagged on leaves or branches while travelling.

"I know, Caleb. I'm not stupid." Cat griped at him. Kili looked ready to protest, but Ori hushed him, seeing as Catherine would not take well to that insult. Caleb had to agree with the dwarf. "Give me a leg up."

Caleb sighed, but did as asked and soon enough, Cat was sitting astride the horse, looking immensely pleased. "I feel so tall!"

"And you're a midget!" Caleb exclaimed, running before his sister could hit him for that comment. Fili let out a snort of laughter.

"Need a hand?" Nori asked him, eyes twinkling with amusement at the pouting girl sitting on her horse, arms crossed in annoyance.

"I'm fine." Caleb said and pushed himself up onto the horse, glad his height didn't make him slip off and make an absolute fool of himself. After a while of fumbling, he managed to sit himself on the horse correctly. "See. Are we setting off, then?"

"Yes." Thorin was sitting on top of his pony. Cat had practically squealed when she had seen them. She'd be asking for one when they got home. His gut wrenched at that thought. If. If they got home. "We must make haste. Is everyone ready?"

"Yes!" A chorus arose and it was Thorin who lead, Caleb and Catherine trailing along just behind Gandalf. Kili and Fili rode past them, Fili tossing the girl a triumphant smile. She pulled a face at him and Caleb rolled his eyes at the immaturity of his sister.

"Pay up, Cat." He said, holding out a hand for money. Catherine hesitantly held up a hand, all five fingers held up. She lowered them, one by one…

Three…two…one…

"Wait!" Cat smirked at the open mouthed dwarf heir as Bilbo ran to catch up with them, the contract flying out behind him. "I signed it."

As Balin checked it over, Catherine smiled brilliantly at Fili, holding out her hand. "I'd like my winnings, please."

Kili laughed as his grumbling brother handed over a small drawstring pouch, most likely containing Cat's winnings. She smiled, before trotting off to the other dwarves she had made bets with, before they came up with the simpler system of tossing the pouches containing the money back and forth between those in the company.

"So, how far exactly are we going?" Caleb asked Kili, who shrugged.

"I'm not sure." He said. "But far. Over the mountains, through Mirkwood."

Caleb wracked his brain as he tried to remember what exactly happened. Elves in Mirkwood, stone giants, goblins and giant spiders…wait a sec. He looked over at a grinning Cat and grimaced slightly. She would so not be happy with that revelation. He decided to not tell her about that.

"Stop, stop, we have to go back!" Caleb exchanged an exasperated look with Fili as Bilbo called out. "I've left my handkerchief."

Before Bofur could offer him a strip of cloth from his tunic, Cat tossed him a piece of white fabric. Caleb raised an eyebrow.

"You don't have a handkerchief."

"Every maiden needs favours to hand out." Cat grinned brilliantly at him. "In other words, I stole it from you."

Fili let out a roar of laughter as Caleb leaned over to what Catherine, who nimbly maneuvered her horse out of the way of her brother's hands.

XoooX

Caleb was still awake when Bilbo awoke from his short sleep. Cat's head was pillowed against his thigh, legs curled up to her chest, her eyes half closed as she watched the two brothers, sitting against the cliff face, smoking pipes and talking in hushed voices.

He allowed his eyes to close for a minute, until a shrill, shrieking sound pierced the silence, cutting through it like a knife. It made him start, causing his knee to hit Cat as she let out an 'ow' of discomfort as she was dislodged from her comfortable spot.

"What the heck was that?" Caleb asked, head spinning to face the direction the noise came from. Out there. The wilderness. Normally, he would have known, but it had startled him.

"Orcs." Kili answered, eyes trained on the distance.

"Orcs?" Bilbo asked. Catherine would have most likely made a statement of 'we heard you the first time' here, if her eyes weren't looking out in the same direction as Kili's, as though she could pinpoint the location of said orc. Caleb saw this as highly impossible, but kept the thought to himself so Cat wouldn't hit him.

"Throat cutters." Fili clarified. "There'll be dozens of them out there."

"The lowlands are crawling with them – they strike in the wee, small hours when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood." Caleb felt Catherine shudder minutely and wrapped an arm around his sister's shoulders, shooting Kili a warning glare as he and his brother snorted their amusement.

"You think that's funny?" Caleb said, sounding shocked. He unconsciously mirrored Thorin's words, except the prince sounded outraged, and slightly saddened, too.

"You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" Thorin really was a leader; he was someone you had to listen to, no questions asked.

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili looked down, abashed, Fili's eyes averted. Caleb felt a stab of satisfaction at that – death was nothing to joke about. He remembered the joke he'd made about Sirius' death, back when Cat was going through one of her obsessions, and she had nearly bit his head off. It wasn't until he'd grown to love the characters in The Hobbit and read them die, with tears in his eyes, that he realised how they had wormed their way into his heart. His eyes flickered over to the Durin brothers and Thorin at that, feeling a pang in his gut. It was an awful feeling, knowing that they would die and he couldn't tell them how so they could stop it without sounding like a raving lunatic.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world."

Balin spoke of the war once again. About how Thorin fought Azog, severing his hand. Even Catherine was listening in rapt attention, despite the fact she'd heard the story before. Normally, she'd be dozing off against something if she had to listen to something more than once. Or was in a maths lesson. Either one, really.

The rest of the company were listening, turning to watch Thorin as he turned to face them and, despite the fact Caleb was a man, and Thorin was a dwarf, he inclined his head slightly. He would gladly follow him to wherever he needed to go. Thorin was a king, a natural leader. Caleb, despite how oblivious Thorin could be, trusted him.

"But…the pale orc." Eyes turned to Bilbo, curious almost. "What happened to him?"

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came." Thorin stated, striding towards the hobbit, menacing. His steps were purposeful, never faltering. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

"You can't be sure." Catherine said, and now eyes turned to her. If it was Caleb who was gaining those disbelieving, even slightly angry, looks, he would have been red, but Cat just stuck her chin up, almost in defiance, or challenge. It was one of the things Caleb admired in his sister – her complete and utter disregard of what people thought of her. "What he did was terrible, but don't believe something's dead until you see it with your own eyes or hear it from someone you trust completely. If you just believe it with no evidence…well, it could be the difference between life and death."

It was sneaky, what she was doing – Caleb wouldn't have thought of it. For all her lack of filters and minute attention in academic subjects, Catherine was good with her words and with people. She was warning them earlier, but in a way that didn't tell them that they knew everything. Thorin merely gave her a slightly disbelieving look, but inclined his head slightly.

"We shall keep our guard up, La – Cat." Fili said, sitting up slightly taller. Kili caught Caleb's eye and gave an eye roll, pretending to throw up behind his brother's back. Caleb smirked slightly, hiding a laugh. "But for now, we shall rest – I'll take the first watch, uncle." Thorin nodded and Catherine was blacked out immediately, head hitting Caleb's leg before he could position himself more comfortably. He sighed. Another morning he was going to wake up to with a bad back. Fun.

XoOoX

SORRY! My laptop died and no computer for two weeks and school and blargh. Art coursework due in tomorrow – fun.

Anywho, hope this is alright. Next chapter may be up sooner, but I still have exams – my last is on the 13th of June (I think), so expect tons of updates around then!

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	4. Catherine IV

Catherine was in a mood. It was wet and rainy and she didn't have a coat, so she was getting soaked. She brushed her wet hair out of her eyes, glaring gloomily ahead. It was awkwardly silent, so she appreciated it when Ori began to question her on her home life.

"What was it like back at your home?"

"Pretty boring, actually." Cat hummed, now drawing the attention of the rest of the company. "We did normal stuff – cook, clean, try and gain some form of entertainment. For Caleb its books – I don't see how he can read the same one over and over again to be honest – and I'd end up getting into fights and stuff."

"In my defence, books are very interesting." Caleb sniffed and Cat rolled her eyes. "Better than getting beaten to a pulp on a regular basis."

"I was the one beating people up into pulps." Catherine corrected him, oblivious to the slightly admiring gazes shot her way. "With twigs."

"Yes, stabbing them through their hands." Caleb threw his head back in a laugh, running a hand over his hair to stop it from getting it in his eyes."

"And creating black eyes." Ok, Cat admitted, they were getting a bit giddy. They were giggling like school kids, earning some confused looks from their companions.

"I don't understand what's so funny." Kili looked put out as Caleb wiped a tear from his face. Or it might have been some rain – Cat wasn't sure and she didn't really care.

"You wouldn't," He shook his head, spraying more water everywhere from his hair. "We laugh at the most insane things possible."

"True." Cat added, beaming.

"How old are you?" Fili asked this time.

"Nineteen and loving it." Cat replied, her nose wrinkling as a rain drop landed on it. She promptly sneezed, nearly falling off her horse with the force of it. "Ugh, that sucked."

"Are you betrothed, then?"

Cat did fall off her horse at the completely innocent question from the blonde prince, causing him to roar with laughter and Catherine to get covered in mud. This, as you might expect, did not improve her mood. Caleb choked on his own saliva and Kili was grinning slightly, patting him on the back.

"For the sake of all that is good in the world, no." Cat shuddered, getting back to her feet and attempting to wipe the mud off her face. It failed and she gave Fili a murderous glare. "I despise you with every fibre in my body."

"You love me really."

"Whatever you say, your highness." She did a mock, over dramatic bow, before pushing herself back onto her horse, amazingly without falling off. She cheered internally at the thought.

And there was silence once more. Until Dori spoke up.

"Hey, Mister Gandalf, can't you do something…" Cat couldn't make out the rest of it, the rain still quite heavy. Plus, she was staring at Fili's back, wondering if her gaze could burn him. Unfortunately, it didn't seem she had heat vision. A pity, really.

"It is raining, master dwarf,"

"Well, no duh." Catherine rolled her eyes, sneezing again. "If I get a cold, I'm suing. I don't know who, and to be honest, I don't really care." Caleb shot her an amused look.

"And it will continue to rain until the rain is done."

"Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day…" Cat sang under her breath moodily. Kili shot her a grin and Fili laughed slightly.

"If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."

"Like who?" Caleb hummed idly. "Saruman is a git, Radagast is all foresty and stuff and we actually don't know, or care, really, who the others are." He was ignored. Catherine expected him to be, really.

Bilbo asked about other wizards and Gandalf went into explain-mode, which Cat didn't pay much attention to. Yet again, she'd heard all this already, so hearing it a second time wasn't overly interesting.

"Is he a great wizard or is he…more like you?" Cat couldn't hold back the giggles and she tried to stop them in vain before they spilled from her lips. She leant forward on her horse, shoulders shaking as she laughed. Caleb rolled his eyes.

"Burn!" She squeaked out. Once more, incredulous gazes were sent her way and, once more, she didn't really care.

Cat didn't care about most things.

XoooX

"We camp here for the night." Cat stared, slightly open mouthed.

"He's joking, right?"

"Uncle rarely jokes." Fili said. "So no, he isn't."

"Does he not, like, notice the destroyed houses behind him?"

"Doubt it."

"Well, shit."

"Language, Cat." Caleb hummed, trotting past her with Kili to his right. The dwarf let out a snort of amusement, whereas Bilbo looked scandalised.

"A farmer and his family used to live here." Gandalf was observing the destroyed building and that totally didn't bring down Catherine's feeling of complete and utter dread.

"Your uncle might be a slight lunatic." She said to Fili. "I know where you inherited your idiocy."

"Hey –" Fili didn't get a chance to give a sharp retort, as Thorin told him and Kili to take the ponies and look after them. Kili looked slightly downcast for some strange reason. Caleb jumped off his, landing rather elegantly, whereas Catherine stumbled down from her horse, landing nearly face first onto the ground.

"I'm never going to get the hang of that." She muttered, scowling at Bofur who was looking at her in amusement.

Gandalf came storming past a few minutes later – Cat knew it was about his and Thorin's…disagreement about the elves. Typical, really.

"Where are you going?"

"To seek out the company of the only one here who has any sense."

"Oh – Caleb, then." Cat inputted – she had no common sense and proud of it.

"Who's that?"

"Me."

"And that isn't self-centred at all." Catherine rolled her eyes and sat down on a log, observing her nails idly. There was a clearing of a throat and she looked up to see Nori standing over her. She smiled charmingly. "How may I help you?"

"You're cooking."

"Do you want to eat burned soup?"

"…no."

"Then don't get me to cook." Caleb nodded and pulled Nori away. Cat grinned. Sometimes, she loved her brother.

A while later, they had a fire going and some sort of stew ready. Catherine had eaten her portion quickly and happily assisted Bilbo on taking the two bowls to Fili and Kili. She had nothing better to do, anyway, and Caleb was furiously going over the future parts of the hobbit, as though it would help them in the long run. Cat had to admit, he did have a point, when she thought about it.

When the two reached Fili and Kili, they were just staring at nothing. Cat quirked an eyebrow.

"Guys?"

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies."

"Only, we've encountered a slight problem."

"What is this 'slight problem'?" Cat asked. Then she remembered. Well, that was clever. How on earth did they miss a troll come and grab two of the ponies again? It just didn't make sense. Like, at all.

"There were eighteen…now, there's only sixteen." Cat let out a sarcastic clap, placing the bowl of stew or soup or whatever the concoction was on a log.

"How did you manage that?" It earned her two scarily similar scared. She sighed. "Right, then. Detective time – we'll figure out where the ponies have gotten to."

The small group wandered around, Kili saying which were the ponies that had gone missing – Daisy and Bungle.

"I think we should inform someone authoritive – Thorin probably." Catherine suggested, only for the brothers to shake their heads furiously at the mere suggestion. "Right, no soon-to-be king under the mountain."

"Well, since Bilbo is our official burglar and all, we thought he might like to come into it." Fili suggested. Bilbo looked incredibly nervous at this prospect. Cat sighed.

"Right, Bilbo. I shall help, because I am amazing like that." She strode off, the hobbit and two dwarves close behind. "Okay, what does this look like?"

"Uh, well, it looks like something big babooted these trees." Bilbo answered. Cat mouthed the word 'babooted' in confusion, but left it, understanding it meant 'destroyed' or something along those lines.

"That was our thinking."

"Something very big," Bilbo said. Cat rolled her eyes, yet again, at the slight idiocy of the brothers. Honestly, how did they manage to miss that? "And possibly quite dangerous."

"I totally agree on you with the 'dangerous' part. Anything that can destroy a tree and steal ponies definitely falls into the dangerous category in my books." Catherine added, observing the tree.

"Wait! There's a light over there!" Cat's head snapped up, to look in the direction that Fili was looking.

"Well, we should take a look, shouldn't we?" Cat suggested, before dropping into a slight crouch. "Be silent. Or, at least, as silent as possible."

The four crept along, before they stopped at the entrance to a clearing. Cat grabbed Bilbo's arm and pulled him aside, fingers gripping onto his arm tightly as she wrinkled her nose at the stench. Some, admittedly creepy, laughter echoed and Bilbo's eyes widened.

"What is that?"

"Trolls." Kili's answer was barely a whisper. Cat bit her lip. They crept closer and, peering over the foliage, Catherine glimpsed them, sitting around a fire and there, behind them…

"The ponies." She hissed. "Well, this is rubbish – how are we supposed to get them?" She most certainly didn't like the expectant looks Kili and Fili shot Bilbo. The hobbit seemed to feel the same as Cat.

"You should go, Bilbo." Kili hissed. "You're so small, you won't be seen! And mountain trolls are so stupid, they'll never catch you! Don't worry – we'll be right behind you!"

"If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl."

In unison, the two prodded Bilbo forward, who nervously glanced back. Cat gave him an encouraging smile, but judging by the terrified look he gave her, it was more like a grimace. Eventually, he vanished into the undergrowth and the dwarf princes dragged her back.

"Wait, where are we going?" She asked, shooting both of them equally burning gazes. "You said we'd be right behind him!"

"Relax." Fili waved a hand. "We're getting the rest of the company. Then we will have backup or when we have to fight them."

"We could just be sneaky and snatch the ponies back without the trolls noticing." Cat suggested hopefully, only to be dutifully ignored as the two kept dragging her along.

XoooX

After getting a knife from Dwalin and rounding up the rest of the company, Cat was on her way back to the trolls' camp. Caleb was close behind her, one of Kili's spare bows slung across his shoulder, a quiver of arrows on his back.

They crouched, hidden in the shadows form the fire and Cat clamped a hand over her mouth to prevent her gasp from escaping at the sight of Bilbo dangling from the grip of one of the trolls. Caleb placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her doing something stupid – probably running off and attacking the trolls with nothing but the knife attached to her hip by a bit of rope.

She wasn't exactly an overly threatening force. As she expected.

Unfortunately, Kili didn't have an overly protective brother, as he burst out of the shadows a few seconds later. Cat heard Caleb curse under his breath as the young dwarf challenged the trolls.

"I said, put him down!"

Bilbo was promptly flung at the dwarf, crashing on top of him and that was when Thorin charged out, rage clear in his eyes, with Caleb close behind, muttering something about the idiocy of dwarves as he pulled Bilbo up out of the way of the dwarves who were charging, before notching an arrow in his bow and hitting a troll in the middle of the eyes. He let out a roar of rage, but it didn't do much – these creatures were massive compared to other enemies that would have easily have been downed by such a shot.

Cat managed to stab one in the foot with her knife, narrowly avoiding getting crushed by a foot. This was the first real, life threatening fight she'd been in and Cat could feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins. Everything seemed to become sharper, much clearer as she avoided blows and stabbing and slashing at the trolls wherever she could reach.

That was until the kerfuffle and confusion stopped, and Cat's vision returned to normal as she turned, hard of breath, to see Bilbo being held between two of the trolls. Caleb moved next to her, bow locked and aimed at the eye of one of the trolls.

"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip his off." At that, Cat flung her knife to the ground, Caleb's grip on his bow slackening as he placed it on the ground.

Bilbo's eyes were full of terror, fear and almost betrayal as the dwarves hesitated for a few minutes, until Thorin flung his sword to the ground and the others followed his lead.

Before she knew it, she was bundled up in a sack and flung to the side with some of the dwarves, Caleb and Bilbo, while the rest of the company were being spit roasted by the three trolls.

She'd done this before at a sleepover, you know as you do when you're young and idiotic and zip your sleeping bag up so only your head is free. This was very much similar, but much more itchy and smelled a lot.

Caleb was wriggling furiously. He hated being confined, and Cat knew it. If she had a free hand, she would have grasped his shoulder in comfort but they were sort of trapped inside a sack at the moment.

"Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone." Cat's eyes widened in realisation – she had currently been forgetting a lot of stuff, what with nearly dying. But Bilbo was a slight genius when need be.

"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!" Bilbo managed to get into a standing position in his sack, whilst some dwarves tried to stop him from his tactic, which Cat found incredibly clever and sneaky and something she should have done.

He mentioned something about them smelling, which earned him insulted yells and kicks. Caleb looked physically pained that they hadn't caught on yet, trying to kick Kili from his position to get him to shut up and be quiet. As Cat expected, her brother failed miserably. In fact, it only seemed to egg the youngest prince on. Typical.

Bilbo mentioned something about skinning them first, which earned him much more yells of annoyance and betrayal and Cat wondered why he said that to be honest. It was when the troll picked Bombur up, ready to eat him, when Bilbo's best idea came into fruition.

"Not-not that one, he-he's infected!"

"You what?"

"Yeah, He's got worms in his … tubes."

As though disgusted, the troll flung Bombur back down into the pile of dwarves. Bilbo could obviously tell this idea was excellent and continued with it.

"In-in fact they all have, they're in-infested with parasites. It's a terrible business; I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't."

And cue more complaints. Caleb looked ready to beat himself repeatedly with a wooden spoon or something along those lines, Cat thought in amusement and Bilbo let out an exasperated sigh. Thorin had managed to kick his youngest nephew to get him to shut up. Silence. And then…

"I've got parasites the size of my arm!"

"I've got the biggest parasites!"

"We're riddled!"

"Caleb's parasites are bigger than trees!" Cat quipped in helpfully and Caleb shot her a look, eyes sparkling with challenge.

"Cat's got more parasites than everyone combined!"

Of course, this didn't make them let the group go, of course not. Bilbo sounded very insulted at the fact that he had been called a 'ferret'. Cat figured it was an all right insult, much better than a 'corpse breath worm', as she had called many people before.

"The dawn will take you all!" At last, Gandalf had shown up. There was the smallest of conversation between the trolls, before he broke the stone he was standing on top of and the sun broke through into the clearing, blinding Cat who closed her eyes.

When she managed to open them again, the trolls were turned to stone and she couldn't help but remember that they would remain there for at least sixty years, possibly even more.

Now it was just a matter of getting out of these sacks.

Fun.

XoOoX

Another chapter.

Reference to another of my fave stories – see if you can spot it.

There may be some slash, maybe not - just a warning. If there is any, it will be in much later chapters, and won't be a main feature of the story, so yeah.

My exams officially end on June the fourteenth, so I should be able to update tons after then. Yay!

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	5. Caleb V

Caleb was one of the last freed, Kili cutting him free from the sack. He smiled gratefully at the prince, who merely inclined his head.

"You're alright, aren't you?" Kili asked. This threw Caleb off slightly – Kili had been the one more in midst of the battle, not him. The question should be the other way around.

"Uh, yeah. I – I'm fine." Kili nodded, his cheeks pinking slightly as he turned to catch up with his brother, who was walking over to check on Bilbo. The entire scene confused Caleb slightly, but he shrugged it off and walked over to Cat, who was following Gandalf.

"Where we going?"

"Troll cave." Cat said nonchalantly, trying to listen in on the wizard and Thorin's conversation. "We could get weapons there."

"True." Caleb inclined his head as a few more dwarves joined them in looking for the troll cave.

It was small and dark, slightly damp and stunk. Cat retched and Caleb decided it was better to breathe through his mouth, despite the fact he hated how it made his mouth dry. He firmly ignored the complaints about the smell from the other dwarves as he followed Thorin and Gandalf, looking for weaponry. A bow, in particular. Elven would be nice, but to be honest, he'd prefer not having to borrow one whenever he had to fight. He was sure Kili would get annoyed at him soon enough.

"Oi, Cat!" Caleb waved his sister over with an absent hand as he brushed cobwebs off a sword he found, sheath silver with blue gemstones dotted on it. Cat crept over hesitantly, before letting out a shriek.

"What is it?!" All weapons were raised and Caleb sighed, kneeling on the ground to pick up the spider crawling over her boot.

"Really, Cat? Really?" He placed it on the wall, allowing it to crawl away. Exasperated, annoyed or amused glances were sent Catherine's way, and the girl drew herself up.

"Yes. You'd be traumatised, too, after your brother decided to put a massive spider on your nose when you were asleep."

"It was the size of my thumbnail." Cat let out an indignant huff, before examining the sword, taking it out of its sheath.

"It's really pretty…" She murmured, running a finger along the flat of the blade. "Light, too."

"Elven make, I assume." Caleb said. "Looks like it, at least."

Thorin, who had picked up a similar sword, made to put it down in almost disgust.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Master Oakenshield." Caleb stated airily, examining a silver bow with a quiver of silver arrows absently. "The blades are sharp – they never dull. You could not ask for a finer blade." The dwarven king ignored him, until Gandalf repeated Caleb's final words and, with a huff, Thorin accepted the sword. Caleb made a gesture of disbelief, causing Cat to snigger, sheathing her sword and attaching it to her belt.

"Come on, Caleb. Nab the bow and arrows and let's make a move." Caleb did so, nabbing the bow and the quiver, slinging them across his shoulder. They were light and easy to carry, and felt a lot more comfortable than the spares he'd borrowed from the youngest Durin brother.

They left the cave quickly, Cat's fingers running gently over the hilt of her sword.

To be honest, Caleb hadn't wanted to go in there. The 'long term deposit' the dwarves had mentioned made his heart jump into his mouth. It was almost as though they didn't have faith they would return to Erebor, that there would be a point where they would turn back. They would get there, yes, they would reclaim Erebor. But at such a great price. Involuntarily, his eyes flickered to Thorin.

Yes, such a great price.

XoooX

"No, you're being too slow!" Caleb jumped back as Cat swung her leg at him, almost landing a painful blow to his stomach. "Good. Better."

"Don't kill me!" He let out a yelp as Cat aimed a punch to Caleb's face, him moving his head to the side. He wasn't keen on getting a bloody nose. The other dwarves and Bilbo were watching them, Thorin and Gandalf off to the side discussing plans of action. "Honestly, this is dangerous."

"This is basic fighting skills." Catherine retorted, brushing off invisible specks of dust from her clothes. The blue stones in her earrings sparkled in the sun which was streaming through the trees. The dwarves were watching her almost intently – Caleb couldn't blame them. She was elegant when she fought, almost unnaturally so. Cat got into a ready stance, hands curled into fists. "Hit me."

"Wait, what?" Caleb reeled slightly. His sister rolled her eyes.

"Hit me. I'm not made of glass." So he did. It was a feeble punch, and she blocked it easily. "You can do better than that!"

"I'm not sure he can." Nori let out a laugh. "He seems pathetic."

"Agreed!" Caleb said in desperation. "Sticking with bow and arrow thank you very much!" And he ran for it. Cat rolled her eyes.

"I need to do something." Cat whined. "Someone entertain me!"

"Tell us more about yourself, Miss Catherine." Ori piped up. Caleb smirked slightly – Ori was probably the only person in the company who got away with using Cat's full name. It disgruntled Dwalin, especially as the youngest dwarf spoke to Cat with slight reverence because of her extensive knowledge. Caleb knew the same amount of stuff, but he was probably less talkative and bubbly than Cat.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Tell them about the time you tried to make muffins." Caleb suggested, grinning. Cat groaned as curious looks were directed at her.

"I was bored and I found a muffin recipe, except the oven was rubbish so I left them in and they just burned. I'd made buttercream icing, so I ate that. I was sick for the next couple of hours." Cat sort of attempted to hide her head as Bilbo pulled a slightly disgusted face.

"I made them next time." Caleb said. "And they weren't burned."

"That's because you did ridiculously complicated calculations and made sure they wouldn't die." Cat retorted. "Which is totally not the point of baking."

"Touché, little sister."

"I thought you were twins?" Fili tilted his head.

"Yep. I'm born three minutes before Kit-Cat though, so I'm the eldest." Cat scowled.

"Don't call me 'Kit-Cat'."

There was a rustling of undergrowth and Cat spun, facing the direction it was coming from. She drew her sword, partly out of the sheath, and it was still the same silver colour as when they had first found it. Not orcs, thank God.

"Shall we check it out?"

"Might as well."

XoooX

Caleb always liked Radagast – he was slightly insane and very earthy. He just thought the wizard was a pretty cool guy in general.

Especially because he drove a sleigh pulled by rabbits. How could you get much cooler than that?

"Radagast! Radagast the Brown. Ah. What on earth are you doing here?" Gandalf called in greeting. Pleasant, Caleb thought absently. He would end up sitting all of the company down at some point and teach them proper manners. Bilbo could help – he was probably the only fully civilised one amongst them.

"I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong." Well, what was that ab – oh, yeah, giant spiders in Mirkwood and stuff. Really, being in the story made it a lot harder to keep track of things. The one thing he had learnt was to keep packs on you at all times. There was a very, very high chance of them going missing at some point during the trip.

"Yes?"

Radagast opened his mouth, as thought to speak, but retracted it, a puzzled look crossing his face.

"Oh, just give me a minute. Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it. It was, it was right there, on the tip of my tongue." Cat's eyes widened.

"What _is_ he smoking? And where can I get some?" Fili promptly choked on his own saliva at the unexpected comment, whereas the few dwarves gathered close enough to hear tried to muffle their snorts of amusement. Caleb flicked her ear in reprimand, causing his sister to scowl at him in indignation.

"Oh, it's not a thought at all; it's a silly old..." Looking entirely too calm, Gandalf pulled a poor, wriggling, very much alive stick insect from the other wizards mouth. Cat's eyes grew massive. "-stick insect!"

"Holy smokes, Batman, how the hell did that get in there?" This earned her a few confused looks and another flick from Caleb, this time between her eyes. Radagast pulled Gandalf away from the company, talking to him about what he had seen in Dol Guldur – an earlier, less powerful form of Sauron. It caused him to shudder at the mere thought of that being, something so evil should not be able to exist. He reminded himself briefly of Morgoth, who was before Sauron and even more evil than that and it made him squeeze his eyes shut. They did not have to deal with them. They just had to reach Erebor.

It was quiet for a few minutes, before a howl pierced the silence and heads snapped to the direction it came from.

"Holy fu-"

"Was that a wolf? Are there - are there wolves out there?" Bilbo stuttered, eyes wide with fright.

"Wolves? No, that is not a wolf." Bofur responded, voice shaking ever so slightly, his pick-axe (or it looked like a pick-axe) gripped tightly between his hands.

"Wargs." Caleb said, his voice hoarse.

As if on cue, the warg jumped amongst the companies midst, knocking aside a dwarf, but was soon killed by Thorin. Caleb nearly cried out when a second one appeared, so very close to Kili, but the youngest dwarf took it down easily with a shot from his bow. Dwalin finished it off for good.

"Warg-Scouts! Which means an Orc pack is not far behind." Thorin's eyes narrowed, turning to face the rest of the company.

"Orc pack?" Cat placed a hand on a rather panicked looking Bilbo's shoulder.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?" Gandalf demanded.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?"

"No one, I swear. What in Durin's name is going on?"

"You are being hunted."

"We need to get moving!" Cat yelled, Dwalin nodding furiously in his agreement.

"We can't! We have no ponies; they bolted." Ori exclaimed, eyes darting nervously as Cat cursed violently under her breath.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast said – rather bravely, Caleb thought.

"These are Gundabad Wargs; they will outrun you."

"These are Rhosgobel Rabbits; I'd like to see them try."

XoooX

They were running like their lives depended on it – well, their lives sort of did, but Caleb was trying not to think of that. He knew that he and Cat could easily out run them, get to the passage way well before hand, but by God he was sticking by these dwarves. Cat was closer to the front, by Gandalf, sword out and ready to chop any warg or orc who dared venture close to her into mincemeat. Caleb stayed closer to the back, making sure Bombur and the few slower dwarves were moving and that they had adequate protection in the way of his aim.

It was awful, though. Having to duck behind rocks to make sure they weren't caught. Ori nearly got caught, not stopping until Thorin flung an arm out to prevent him from going any further. Caleb could feel his heart beating a mile a minute and he just wanted to curl into a ball and hide because this was terrifying. More terrifying than the trolls, and he had nearly gotten eaten then.

Then it was the warg on the rock, scenting the air. He was cursing continuously inside his head and was only minutely aware of Fili placing a calming hand on his forearm because dear God Caleb was petrified and would probably be in hysterics if it wasn't for the rest of the company. He knew they wouldn't leave him. He was sure of that.

Then there was the commotion when Kili shot the warg and both the creature and the orc which had been riding it were killed. Cat cursed.

"They know where we are!" She cried. "Move, move, move!"

And they did, moving as fast as their legs could carry them and if Caleb now and then fired an arrow, even if it didn't exactly kill the orc, it wasn't harmful. It was only when Kili yanked on his arm and forced him into a sprint when Caleb stopped firing, trying to work out how far they had to go until they reached the cave tunnel thing. He didn't care for names – he'd prefer to live.

They came to a standstill, surrounded by the orcs and wargs and if Caleb wasn't scared before, then he most certainly was now. Another arrow was shot from Kili's bow, Caleb following his example.

"Cat." He hissed and she nodded, grabbing Ori's arm.

"Follow me." She whispered, before darting with him to the cave and directing him down there.

"Close in!" Caleb said, locking eyes with Thorin who looked ready to protest. His eyes flickered towards the cave and he nodded, the dwarves moving to tighten their semi-circle as they dived into the hole. Cat was ushering them in and Caleb wanted her to go down, but she remained standing, sword in hand, glowing blue.

"Move, move, move…" She heard her whispering the words over and over again as they moved and, whenever one warg became daring enough to move in for an attack, they were easily dispatched.

"Get in!" He yelled back – all but he, Throin, Kili and Fili were down – but Cat shook her head, grabbing his arm and shoving him down the slanted path. "Cat!"

Fili dove in next and then it was Cat, followed closely by Kili and Thorin. Caleb whacked her arm.

"Don't you dare scare me like that!" He hissed harshly, but Cat pressed a finger to her lips, drawing him further back into the cave.

There was commotion and the body of an orc rolled down into their sanctuary. Caleb jumped back, staring at it. Thorin pulled out the arrow that had, undoubtedly, slayed it and pulled a disgusted face.

"Elves."

"I think they've done a good job, actually." Cat mused, wrinkling her nose. "'Specially if they killed those orcs and such. What do you have against 'em?" She was ignored. Dwalin had returned from his exploration.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?"

"Follow it, of course!" Bofur said.

"I think that would be wise."

"Of course it would be wise. Considering the fact that orcs and wargs may still be alive and, oh, I don't know, out for our blood." Cat commented sarcastically, before leading the way. Caleb slapped a hand to his forehead in exasperation, before ushering dwarves to follow her, coming up just before Gandalf and behind Bilbo.

The pathway was narrow – Caleb had never been more grateful for his incredibly slender body than right now – and when they came to an end, his breath caught in his throat.

It was situated on the side of a cliff, with beautiful waterfalls framing it, making it look like a painting. It was well protected by the mountains surrounding it.

"It's like it's from a fairy-tale." Caleb heard Cat's awed response.

"The Valley of Imladis." Gandalf informed, almost unnecessarily. "In the Common Tongue, it's known by another name." Bilbo was the one who cleared it up completely, voice filled with wonder and amazement.

"Rivendell."

XoOoX

'Nother chapter.

Is it bad that I'm already planning on writing a sequel to this? I may or may not be slightly obsessed with LotR and The Hobbit.

My obsession is just encouraged by my friends, who keep commenting on my original writing and characters and bleh, IT'S THEIR FAULT BLAME THEM!

Anyway, read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	6. Catherine VI

The elven cities or settlements or whatever they were called were always beautiful. So intricately designed and almost otherworldly. Cat had always looked forward to seeing them in the films and now she was actually standing in one and it took her breath away.

Just because the dwarves didn't like it at all, didn't mean she had to. She was openly in awe of it all, no matter how many dirty looks Thorin gave her.

Thorin could go eat a dirty sock, for all she cared.

Caleb seemed to be trying to drink in the entire surroundings, the same going for Bilbo. Ori was scribbling down meticulously in his journal. Cat didn't blame him – if she had a talent for words, she would be scribbling down, too, but she was better at speaking than writing.

Thorin was grumbling about elves being their enemies and about how Gandalf had planned this all along and blah blah blah. Cat decided that Thorin was a stick in the mud. Oh, and emotionally constipated, apart from when it came to anger or leadership-ness. Otherwise, he was just terrible with emotions. She would never say that when he was in the vicinity of hearing, because she'd probably end up decapitated and, to be honest, Cat liked her life, thank you very much.

They soon reached the courtyard and an elf with dark hair made his way down the stairs to greet them. If Cat remembered correctly, his name was Lindir. She only remembered it because it sounded like 'lindor' and she absolutely _adored_ that chocolate.

He spoke with Gandalf in elvish – the word for friend in elvish made her crave melons for some strange reason – and revealed that, surprise surprise, Elrond wasn't there. The sound of elven horns alerted them to where Elrond was, obviously, which caused the company to close ranks, weapons drawn. The elvish horses surrounded them.

To be honest, Cat didn't think that was the best course of action.

"For the sake of all that is good in this world…" She found herself rolling her eyes at the aggressive look on Thorin's face. She caught Gandalf giving her an amused look.

She and her brother had stood away from the company and Caleb was mouthing the different elves names, like the nerd he was. And Cat thought she was a fan girl. Sometimes Caleb gave her a run for her money.

There was more elvish discussion and Cat wished there were subtitles, so she actually knew what they were saying.

"Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders. Something, or someone, has drawn them near." Elrond said, however there was no malice in his tone. Cat decided that she liked Elrond in that moment.

"Ah, that may have been us."

At that, Thorin stepped forward, looking as majestic as ever. She hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid, like launch an attack because then he would be dead before you could say 'Well, that was stupid'.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain." Elrond regarded Thorin with curiosity and respect.

"I do not believe we have met."

"You have your grandfather's bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the Mountain."

"Indeed; he made no mention of you."

"Oooh, burn." Cat whispered to Caleb, who gave her a look which clearly said 'shut up before you make a fool of yourself'. She rolled her eyes in response to that. Honestly… She acknowledged the fact she was getting weird looks from some of the elves, but took it in her stride. She was used to that.

More elvish, blah blah blah. And, of course, as none of the dwarves understood what Elrond was saying, they automatically jumped to bad conclusions.

"What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?"

There was an uproar, dwarves gripping weapons and growling and Cat rolled her eyes, before letting out a shrill whistle. The commotion stopped, all eyes turning to Cat, who had both eyebrows raised, one hip sticking out, arms folded across her chest. She was tapping one foot impatiently. Caleb gave her a scathing look and she earned herself a glare from Thorin. Cat didn't care.

"Guys, shut up and let Mister Elrond talk, please. Or else I will whistle again. And this time, I will deafen you." The company remained silent and turned back to a rather miffed, yet amused, looking Elrond.

"I was merely offering you food."

Cat raised both hands, shrugging in a 'what did I tell you' gesture. The dwarves had gathered in a circle and talked about choices. Caleb and Cat exchanged exasperated looks.

"Ah well, in that case, lead on."

XoooX

Elven food was very green. And leafy. The dwarves weren't approving. Cat was just glad that she had food and was currently stealing it off Bofur's plate, who was watching her with amusement.

"Hungry?"

"Starving." Was her reply, though her nose wrinkled at the elven music. "The music isn't to my taste."

"What music is to your taste?" Bofur seemed to share in her dislike of the music. Cat grinned.

"Ah, much music, sir." She winked. "I wish I could play flute, but alas, my talents do not stretch to that." Caleb spat out his water, choking. Kili chuckled, patting him on the back. "What do you find amusing about my talents?"

"What talent?"

"I'd like to see you play a flute." Caleb conceded defeat, and Cat sat up, smug.

"As lovely as this conversation is, it's not helping the music situation." Bofur commented, amused. Cat shrugged.

"I can't do much." She commented. "But I can play a mean table."

"Table?" This had drawn Nori's interest. "How can you play a table?"

"You did not just ask that." Caleb stared. Cat beamed.

"He did."

At that, she began to hum a tune, nodding her head along to it. Nori opened his mouth, as though to comment, but Bofur shushed him when she began drumming on the table, smiling slightly.

She mouthed the words she was singing, and Caleb found himself drumming along. The elven music had ceased, everyone listening to the beat. It was upbeat, different, Cat knew that. She didn't care if it completely blew her and Caleb's cover, but still.

"Sing it for us, Miss Catherine." Ori piped up. At that, she turned the drumming to a steady beat and gestured for a few dwarves to keep it up. Fili, Kili and Bofur did so, with Caleb. She did a slightly more complicated beat over the top, humming the tune, before singing two verses. That was all, because she was, in her opinion, not a good singer. She got notes, but to be honest, she didn't like singing. It left her exposed, and it made her feel a lot more weak when she was singing on her own. With the incident in the Hobbit hole, it was different, because other dwarves were singing along. She wasn't heard.

"Hey, this is not a funeral

It's a revolution, after all your tears have turned to rage

Just wait, everything will be okay

Even when you're feeling like it's going down in flames

Ohh

People like us we've gotta stick together

Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever

Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten

It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom"

She was pulled away by a hand on her shoulder and turned, startled, to see Elrond looking down at her. The beat had stopped. Everyone was looking at her. Cat shuffled in her seat.

"May I speak to you?"

"Um…alright." She stood. Caleb made to join her, but she shot him a look. "No. Sit. Stay."

"I'm not a dog."

"Might as well be." She snarked back, before flouncing off after Elrond, who had moved to the corridor. When she was out of the room, she let herself relax, shoulders lowering and she slumped against the wall. "You wished to speak to me?"

"I think it would be best to move further away." He offered her his hand. Catherine took it.

XoooX

"Mithrandir told me about you and your brother."

"Mithrand – oh, you mean Gandalf?" Cat was taking this surprisingly well. She had an idea that was why Gandalf had probably suggested that Elrond spoke to her instead of Caleb. He would be majorly freaking. "So, you know we're not of this world?"

"Yes. Although, he did not say you would speak like this." His eyes sparkled with amusement. "He said your language may be, ah, hard to understand." She let out a startled laugh.

"Yeah. That would make sense." Cat grinned. "It's mostly used to wind him up, though. Gandalf doesn't like not knowing things. It's like me speaking elvish." She tilted her head. "Except he understands elvish, but you know, you can't win them all."

"He suggested your brother may be better to talk to. I wished to speak to you after your display in the courtyard and whilst you were eating." Almost instinctively, she raised her hands in defence.

"If I've broken some ancient, sacred, elven rule by singing and interrupting your music, then I'm like, so sorry. Just don't kill me or something worse. Like, make me suffer Caleb's nagging for the rest of eternity." Her eyes narrowed slightly, before she shuddered. "That would be cruel."

"You are one of a kind, aren't you?"

"Well, we are all made up of separate DNA strands and such, apart from completely identical twins, so in retrospect we are all one of a kind." Elrond blinked, startled. "I'm rambling. Ok, I'll be quiet now."

"He also mentioned that you would do that."

"It's a nervous habit. I think I also told Bilbo what the word for the fear of long words was in a spur of the moment kind of thing. I also have no filters." She hummed. "It would have been a wiser choice to speak to my brother if you want a normal, civilised conversation. But he would probably have a major panic attack and start hyperventilating. Saying we'd be messing with the fabric of reality or something along those lines. But, anyway, you wanted to talk to me. Or ask me something."

Elrond seemed startled – Cat deemed her rambling as a successful way to confuse just about anyone – before regaining his bearings.

"Yes. I am wondering if there is anyone in particular I can't tell about this."

Cat blinked, tilting her head, biting her lip.

"Yeah…this would be Caleb's department. Um…"

"I am asking you, because I don't think you would over analyse it."

"Yeah. Don't tell the dwarves, of course. Um…Saruman. Don't ask. Caleb doesn't like him, I'm not keen on him, either." Elrond looked confused. Cat didn't clarify. "I don't think there's anyone else…"

"Thank you for your help, Lady Catherine." Elrond inclined his head. Cat pulled a face.

"Please, it's Cat. Catherine, if you must."

"That dwarf calls you Miss Catherine."

"Ori. He gets away with it because he's cute enough to pull it off."

Elrond smiled slightly.

"You are definitely different, Catherine."

"I know."

XoooX

"What did he want to speak to you about?" Ori was curious, eyes wide. Dwalin kept looking over to the two and Cat smiled to herself.

"Just about where Caleb and I came from." She responded. "He was curious and such."

"How is it different from where we come from?"

"It's not a mountain, for one." She heard Dwalin snort in amusement. "Plus, it is only inhabited by men." Ori gaped.

"You mean you've never seen a dwarf before?"

"Not until I saw the company." Cat replied. "And, let me just say, you're different from the dwarves I've read about."

"Really?" Ori squeaked, looking slightly awed.

"Yup. Caleb managed to find books on dwarves which fit your description perfectly, though." She let out a yawn, stretching her legs and arms out in front of her.

"Can you tell me anything else?"

"Dwalin has a crush on you." Ori let out a choking noise in the back of his throat, and Cat roared in laughter, now drawing looks from the rest of the group. Caleb sighed, walking over to the two and grabbing Ori's arm.

"I'm rescuing Ori from you before you damage his brain. Or cause him to choke. Whichever comes first."

"Thank you." He managed to gasp out before Caleb pulled him away, leaving Cat to giggle until she calmed down.

"We're moving." Thorin's voice was commanding.

"What? Already?" Bilbo looked confused. Cue annoyed look from Thorin.

"Yes."

"They want to stop us from leaving." Caleb stated, getting to his feet. Cat sighed. She really would like to stay in Rivendell longer, but no. The white wizard was so freakin' _stubborn_. "Come on. We must make haste."

"I think he and Thorin will get along greatly." She heard Balin murmur. Cat sighed again.

"I don't think Thorin likes me too much." Balin gave her a look which Cat found hilarious – it was almost a 'bitch please' sort of look.

"That's because, La – Catherine, you keep challenging his authority."

She huffed.

"Doesn't give him a reason to hate me."

Cat scowled as Nori and Bofur burst into laughter at her comment.

Dwarves. Why did she put up with them?

XoOoX

Yay, I got some reviews! *happy dance*

Every review makes me happy – keep it up! Even if it's just 'good job', it's appreciated.

I've decided there will be slash, mostly Dwalin/Ori (keep reading too many awesome fics and I die internally at the cuteness), and will probably include Thilbo because of feels and Cat's meddling.

My exams are done on the fourteenth of June, but I only have two this week, only one I really need to revise for, the other is English language. By writing this I am TOTALLY revising for the creative writing part. But, yeah, more updates after the fourteenth, if you're lucky next week.

Out of pure curiosity, would anyone be interested in reading some of my original work and telling me if there's any point in continuing it? My friends keep telling me I should, but they're totally biased.

Read, review and all that jazz! ~Jazz xx


	7. Caleb VII

One thing Caleb was sure of was that he was going to miss Rivendell.

The next group of elves they would come across on their journey would be those of Mirkwood and, from what he knew, they were mostly gits. Especially Thranduil. As far as Caleb was concerned, the only nice elf which was well known from Mirkwood was Legolas – if they got into trouble and, knowing Thorin's grudges, they would, he would have to try and get the prince to help them. He highly doubted it would work, but to be honest, he'd prefer not to get stuck in a barrel.

It was not a majestic mode of transport.

He could hear Cat just laughing at that reference.

Surprisingly, she wasn't laughing at the moment. She hadn't wanted to leave Rivendell, much like Bilbo, but she was walking ahead of him, face determined, lips pursed. It was odd to see Cat looking so serious – she was normally bouncy and full of life. It may just be the fact she hadn't been able to stay in Rivendell longer and explore, but Caleb guessed it was more than that. What, though, he wasn't sure.

"Come on, Caleb." He turned his head away from Rivendell to see Kili tugging on his arm. The young dwarf had taken a shine to him, though Caleb wasn't sure why. Kili was beaming at him, his brother had caught up with Cat and they were currently in a heated debate with Bofur about, from what he could hear, the pros and cons of the elven diet. Cat was laughing, so Caleb was completely fine with that. If arguing over something so simple made his sister happy, who was he to complain? "We'll be reaching the mountains before night. Thorin wants to make sure we are."

"Best to travel when we can see where we're putting our feet." Caleb agreed, smiling slightly, before turning to face Bilbo, who was still staring out over Rivendell. "I'll be a second, Kili. I need to talk to Bilbo."

The dwarf prince frowned slightly, but nodded and stayed put as Caleb walked back over to Bilbo, crouching next to him. The hobbit obviously knew he was there.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes." Caleb answered, placing a hand on the hobbit's shoulder. Bilbo turned his head to look at him, eyes full of fear and anxiety and anticipation.

"Do you think we'll survive, Caleb? That…that I'll be able to see Rivendell again?"

Images flashed through Caleb's mind, of an old, withered Bilbo Baggins in Rivendell, with the finished book. With his desire for the one ring. He held back a shudder, and instead gave a smile.

"I'm sure you will, Mister Baggins. I promise that I'll make sure we all come out of this alive." Internally Caleb winced at that promise. He wasn't sure he could keep it. "You might want to hurry now, before Thorin comes and demands you keep up." Bilbo let out a slight laugh, before moving on, past Kili. Caleb raised himself to full height again, stretching. He caught Kili's gaze and grinned. "You might want to make a move, Kee. We do need to reach the mountains before nightfall."

"You do know you might not be able to keep your promise, right?" The prince raised a single eyebrow.

"I know." Caleb answered, moving to walk next to the dwarf. He wasn't that much taller than the prince – Kili's head came up to about his chest. Caleb had the sudden urge to ruffle his hair to see how he'd react, but reigned in the temptation. He wasn't his sister, Caleb actually had an ounce of self-control. "But I will try, won't I? I don't want anyone to be lost on this quest."

"Really?"

"Really." Caleb looked at Kili who was staring at him intently. It was almost disconcerting, but Caleb didn't find it as awkward as when others stared at him when he was talking. It was soothing, almost. "I may not have known all of you for very long, but I have found friends in all of you. Especially you and your brother." Kili's eyes brightened significantly at that. Caleb felt something in his stomach flutter slightly as the dwarf beamed at him.

"The same for you." Was his reply, before he grabbed Caleb's arm again, dragging him along. Caleb laughed, nearly tripping over his feet. "Come on, we need to reach the mountains by nightfall, and uncle won't be too happy if we're found dawdling!"

XoooX

"You know what? Everything sucks. Mountains suck, rocks suck, walking sucks and this weather sucks."

"Even me?"

"Especially you."

"Cat, shut up or I'll make you." Cat was complaining to Fili, who looked rather offended at the insult Cat had directed his way. It did make sense, to be honest – she was in a mood because it was rainy and wet and they were on a tiny mountain path in the middle of a storm and Caleb was sure he was going to trip and fall to his doom. "Whose smart idea was it to go through the mountains again?"

"Gandalf." Was Kili's reply. Caleb groaned.

"I'm beginning to think the wizard is hopeless." He said, staying as close as he could to the mountain face. The drop made him feel dizzy and sick and he was sure that he was about to fall, plummeting down towards his doom, the awful feeling of nothing but air between him and the solid ground…

"Caleb?" He was pulled from his thoughts, his fears, by a hand on his arm. Kili. Thank God for that dwarf. "You look faint."

"Heights." He muttered, drawing a deep breath. "I'm going to end up falling down and…"

"You won't. I won't let you – I promise." Caleb managed a small smile, and a teasing tone.

"Sure you can keep that promise?" Kili's look turned unnaturally serious.

"I know I will." Then he carried on, hand still gripping Caleb's arm in a vice like grip, as though that would prevent him from falling off the side of the mountain and to his possible doom.

Well. That was weird.

"Watch out!"

"Holy –" Caleb leaned closer to the mountain at the sight of a huge boulder hurling through the air, hitting the side of the mountain causing rocks to fall, nearly collapsing on top of them. The stupid stone giants – how could he have forgotten? Because it didn't happen in the nook, a chiding voice told him. He brushed it aside – now wasn't the time.

"This is no thunderstorm; it's a thunder battle! Look!"

Yes, another one was tearing a huge chunk of rock from the top of a mountain. How could something as big, as permanent as a mountain be taken down so quickly? It didn't sit right with Caleb. Then again, most of the stuff in this world didn't.

"Well bless me, the legends are true. Giants; Stone Giants!"

"Idiot, stay back!" Caleb pulled Bofur back into the mountainside, just as the rock came hurtling towards them, hitting the giant behind the group.

"What's happening?"

That was when Caleb noted that the rock was splitting. And that Cat and Kili were on the other side.

His heart was beating a furious, vigorous pace in his chest as Cat looked at him with familiar blue eyes, never full of fear and terror and dread as they were separated – they had never been separated by rock and stone. And Kili. He wanted to grab him and Cat and stick them on his side of the mountain, because if something bad happened at least they could face it together. He was aware of Fili next to him, body trembling with fear as he tried to reach out to his brother.

"Kili! Grab my hand! Ki..."

Kili's eyes were filled with so much sorrow and pain and it physically hurt Caleb, like a knife to the gut, to know that these two brothers had, like he and Cat, been through just about everything together and this was keeping them apart. These stupid stone giants and the stupid mountains.

Caleb began to agree with Cat on the fact that everything sucked at the moment.

It was a blur, what happened next. There was running and jumping and mostly grabbing onto Fili's wrist like a lifeline. Fili was just about cutting off his circulation, too, so Caleb didn't feel as bad about that.

It was when the ledge Cat and Kili were on crashed into the mountain side he felt the bottom of his stomach drop and he wanted to throw up because they couldn't be dead. They weren't allowed to be dead.

"Catherine! Kili!" The yell sounded hoarse and torn and he was vaguely aware of the salty taste of tears on his lips. He didn't care. He prayed to every God he could think of that those two weren't dead, because he loved them both so much…

His eyes flew wide. Love. Well, that was a strong word. He could apply it to Cat, yes – she was his sister, for crying out loud. But Kili? The dwarf he'd known for only a few weeks? When Caleb thought about it, he could only concede with a yes, he did love him. To what extent, he wasn't sure. Caleb assumed brotherly, but then again, he wasn't good with feelings.

At least Cat hadn't claimed he was 'emotionally constipated', as she continually called Thorin.

Right now, though, he had much more pressing matters to attend to than sorting out his feelings for a certain dwarf. For example, making sure said dwarf was alright and alive.

"No! No! Kili!" Thorin's desperate yell was what made Caleb move, tugging Fili along with him along the tiny walkway at the side of the mountain. They had to be alive. Right now, remembering what had happened was out of his mind because so much had changed and…

"CATHERINE!" He practically tackled his sister in relief. Cat let out a watery laugh, gripping Caleb as though he would vanish as soon as she let go. He soon felt the presence of two more people. He saw the blond braids of Fili and Kili's brown hair tickled his cheeks and they were alive and he never felt more relieved in his entire life.

"We need to find shelter!" Thorin's yell broke through the drumming rain.

"There's a cave further up!" Caleb yelled back, having spotted it behind Fili's mane of hair. "Shall we check it out?"

"It's our best shot." Fili sighed, getting to his feet. "Come on!"

Kili didn't release Caleb's hand from his grip the entire way there.

That totally didn't help Caleb with his feelings at all.

XoooX

Caleb awoke to the sound of feet moving softly across the sandy bottom of the cave.

He heard a murmur from next to him as Cat snuggled further under the cloak draped around herself, trying to absorb all the warmth she could from it. He could see Kili and Fili practically wrapped around each other barely a foot length away from him. He didn't blame them – they'd nearly lost each other earlier on today. Caleb would probably be clinging to Cat if she wasn't so stubborn and insisted that she didn't need to be babied.

She hadn't actually released Caleb's wrist from her iron grip until she'd fallen asleep.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw Bilbo carefully moving around the dwarves towards the exit. He remembered then. Thorin had gone and been an idiot. Again.

To be honest, Caleb shouldn't be surprised.

Slowly, so not to disturb the brothers and his sister who were sleeping so close to him, Caleb got to his feet and using every ounce of stealth he possessed, followed Bilbo to the exit.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bofur sounded surprised, not to mention slightly betrayed.

"Back to Rivendell."

"No, no, you can't turn back now, you're part of the Company. You're one of us."

"I'm not though, am I? Thorin said I should never have come, and he was right. I'm not a Took, I'm a Baggins, I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have run out my door." It was then Bilbo turned, obviously knowing Caleb had been following him. "Don't try and tell me otherwise."

"Bilbo. You have a place here amongst the company, amongst _us_." He was stressing that point because Bilbo did have a place here. "Who saved us from the trolls? You did. You're an irreplaceable member of the company. You can't just leave!"

"At least you have skills of some sort." Bilbo retorted. "You have Cat and Kili-" Caleb felt his cheeks heating as both hobbit and dwarf gave him a knowing look. Really? They were just friends (though Caleb was beginning to doubt that now). "-And I have no one. I miss my bed and my chair and my books."

"You're homesick; I understand."

"No, you don't, you don't understand! None of you do - you're dwarves. You used to - to this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere."

Caleb winced and Bofur started, looking shocked and hurt and Caleb just wanted to pull the toy-maker into a comforting hug, but stopped himself.

"I am sorry, I didn't..."

"No, you're right. We don't belong anywhere. I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do." Then Bilbo turned and his sword – his stupid sword – was glowing blue. Caleb cursed.

"Wake up!"

"Wake up. Wake up!"

He and Thorin had the same thought – get the hell out of there before something bad happened. There was scrabbling as some dwarves immediately woke up but it wasn't enough as the floor was breaking beneath their very feet. Soon there wasn't any floor beneath their feet at all.

And Caleb was falling, his heart pounding a fast paced rhythm in his chest as he panicked. Their was nothing beneath him, nothing to catch him.

He wished Kili was there.

Kili made everything better.

XoOoX

I can't stop.

This has (obviously) answered the queries of the few readers who have questioned me on Kili and Caleb's relationship.

I feel loved that people actually like their relationship. :3 Completely spur of the moment thing, by the way.

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	8. Catherine VIII

Goblins were disgusting, vile and just gross.

Really, Cat couldn't think of a better way to describe them.

They were warty, creepy little things. So she was none too happy when they'd fallen down the trap, hole thing and were hoarded away by the goblins.

There was struggling of course. Especially from Cat when they put their grubby, disgusting hands on her because that was plain wrong and ew. Just ew. Fili was struggling as well, trying to get to his brother, Kili doing exactly the same. Caleb was still in slight shock, fulfilling the goblins demands of continuing to move down the tunnel system. Cat pitied him – it was awful coming face to face with one of your greatest fears, and Caleb's was a very rational fear.

Kili's eyes kept darting back and forth, between Fili, Cat and Caleb. He was worried for all three of them, Cat knew that. She'd found a family in the company, especially with the two princes, and she was worried for them herself. Kili was, as far as she knew, the youngest dwarf in the company (this was what she'd gathered from Caleb's ramblings) and he would be at risk. Although, now she was there, she wasn't sure if she was more of a target than the youngest dwarven prince.

To be honest, the goblins should be terrified of her presence.

If Caleb could hear her thoughts and wasn't in a state of shock, she knew he'd be laughing at her.

He'd seemed to have regained his senses, though, and was struggling against them, not looking down the side of the bridge to the long drop that awaited him if he misplaced a foot and fell. Cat hoped he wouldn't fall, because without Caleb she'd probably be dead. Despite her sometimes cold disposition she showed to her brother, Cat knew that her life would suck if he wasn't there.

The same went for Fili. She loved to annoy the eldest prince, but she held no malice towards him. He was much too nice for her to genuinely hate him.

The tunnel system was intricate, with bridges as well as mountain paths. Cat was not scared of falling, though she tried to stay as far away from the constantly grabbing hands and the claws that a few had. She took a deep, steadying breath, trying to keep calm. If she started to panic, things could go bad. That was when her mouth acted before her brain thought it through.

That normally led to bad things happening.

Soon enough, they were standing in front of the goblin king. Cat held back her gagging – he was disgusting. His face was covered with warts, and his chin was hanging down past his chest. She felt the presence of three other people, who most fortunately were not goblins. She didn't need to look to guess who they were. Kili, Fili and Caleb. The four youngest were going to stay as close to each other as possible during this encounter, it seemed. Cat wouldn't have it any other way. Caleb was her brother, and Kili and Fili were as good as.

There was the clanging of metal on metal as their weapons were flung into a pile and Cat's fingers itched to get her sword back. Now she was close to the Great Goblin, she could see he had strands of hair on his head, and when he spoke, spittle flew from his mouth. It made her feel sick.

"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?" Cat thought he was being a bit over dramatic at that.

"Dwarves, Your Malevolence. And two men."

"Dwarves? Men?"

"We found them on the front porch."

"Well, don't just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice."

It was almost like a stampede they came towards them, and hands were on her again, thoroughly checking all of her and Cat yelped in surprise, holding back the bile that rose in her throat, feeling as though she was about to throw up. Caleb was struggling again, to pull her away, but he too was being checked.

They were let go and Cat soon found herself surrounded by over protective dwarves. Even Thorin was guarding her, and she thought that the dwarven king hated her. Well, he probably still did, but his nephews liked Cat well enough, so protecting her would make them happy.

Thorin wouldn't protect her because he liked her. That would be way too weird.

"Bring forth the girl." The Great Goblin was grinning malevolently and Cat felt her stomach churn as her guards were pushed out the way and she was dragged forward, the grips on her arms sure to leave marks as she was brought to the king. He was giant, much taller than her, but Cat was small anyway. She felt repulsed and frightened.

He crooked a finger, using it to lift her chin up and bring her face to face with him. Cat's gaze narrowed, eyes like chips of flint. She heard a scuffle, and knew that it would be Caleb, trying desperately to reach her. She fought against tears at the fact her brother was trapped and trying to save her.

Cat was barely resisting the urge to bite the finger resting under her chin.

"What is a pretty young thing like you doing in these parts? Especially amongst a company of dwarves?" His voice was menacing, threatening, almost mocking her. His breath made Cat's eyes water and she fought against the bile in her throat, choking back tears.

She didn't reply. She wouldn't betray the company like that.

"Well then, if she will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the girl."

Cat let out a startled yell as she was turned, head forced back by a grip on her hair. She felt tears welling in her eyes again and a choked sob was released as she heard the struggles of her brother and the princes and her name being yelled by all members of the company.

"Wait."

She let out a sob of relief as she was released and, before anyone could stop him, Caleb had grabbed her and was holding her in his arms like he used to when she was little and had scraped her knees on the pavement.

"They won't hurt you anymore. I've got you, Kitten, I've got you." She buried her head further into his chest and felt Fili and Kili join in the hug. Cat felt safe. It was a nice feeling.

XoooX

The goblin was singing. It was awful and surprisingly cheery for a song that was being sung signalling her imminent death. Caleb had a firm grip on her arm and Cat was surrounded by the dwarves once more, this time determined to keep her safe.

It must have been the tears. Cat hadn't cried once on the trip, apart from with laughter, so seeing her crying tears of pain must have sparked something in them.

Possibly the ingrained idea that you shouldn't hurt a woman, no matter what race.

"Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung! You'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung. You will lie down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin-town."

"That song is way too happy to be sung before our imminent doom." Cat commented her thoughts aloud, voice slightly hysterical. Caleb bit his lip hard and Kili, almost instinctively it seemed, took her brothers hand in his. Caleb squeezed it in comfort. Fili moved closer to the trio, breath coming out harshly.

"Any smart ideas on how to get us out of here?"

"None, aside from waiting for Gandalf." Cat hissed back, and Fili muttered something in Khuzdul under his breath. Probably a curse.

Her eyes flickered over to the pile of weapons the goblins were sorting through. If only she could reach them and get Orcrist to Tho…

Oh.

Well, shit.

There were howls of fear and rage as the goblins jumped back, the Great Goblin clinging to his throne in pure horror, pointing and staring at the sword. He spoke loudly, his words echoing around the tunnels.

"I know that sword! It is the Goblin-Cleaver, the Biter, the blade that sliced a thousand necks."

At that, the whips started. Cat, who was surrounded on all sides, was safe from the full effect of them, but Caleb wasn't and she was wincing every time he clung to her a bit tighter. Throughout the ordeal, he hadn't let go of Kili's hand, as though Kili was grounding him. As though the dwarf was the one thing that stopped him from giving up, along with Cat. She reached out a hand and took Fili's in her own. He didn't have his brother, so he could have Cat's sisterly comfort instead.

"Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all! Cut off his head!"

"No, Thorin!" Cat cried out impulsively as the king was brought to the front, a bone knife poised, ready to cut off his head. She barely had time to struggle to reach him, to stop him from being beheaded, when a brilliant white light burst through the cave, blinding her and sending her down, with the rest of the company and the goblins.

Many of the goblins were flung aside, their torture machines destroyed in the process. Good riddance.

It was as though the goblins were in shock as they stared at the source of the light – a dark figure, in a pointed hat.

Well, it was about time Gandalf showed up.

"Take up arms. Fight. Fight!"

It was an instantaneous reaction, the company jumping to their feet and beginning to fight. Cat showed them how much they regretted treating her, winding the first goblin that came at her with a swift kick to the stomach.

"Caleb!" She yelled and her brother locked eyes with her, before nodding and darting over to the pile of discarded weapons, taking his bow once more and grabbing one of the many weapons Dwalin had spare. It was a short blade, but it would be easier to fight with than a bow and arrow in their current situation. Meanwhile, the Great Goblin was talking about Gandalf's sword.

"He wields the Foe-Hammer, the Beater, bright as daylight!"

Yeah, it wasn't the best time to talk about that.

Caleb threw Cat's sword to her and she eagerly drew it. She felt comfortable with the weapon in her hands, a barrier between herself and the goblins as she swung, easily slicing them through their stomach. She had Fili at her back and together they were a formidable force. It was when Kili and Caleb were with them when they became something terrifying.

They were the four youngest, they were siblings even if they weren't related by blood. They were fighting for the company, for each other, and Cat wouldn't have it any other way. They were killing any goblin that crossed their path, moving in perfect synchronisation. It was as though they had been doing it for years.

Cat saw the Great Goblin fall, saw the dwarves combatting other goblins, but soon they'd be over run, and even their little quartet wouldn't be able to do much. She could tell Caleb was tiring, not used to wielding a sword, but was coping with it, fighting for his life.

"Follow me. Quick! Run!"

And, since it was their best option, they did, Cat's hand firmly grasping Caleb's arm and Fili's wrist as Kili led them in sprint after Gandalf, hand clutched tightly in Caleb's.

XoooX

Cat had to admit, dwarves were creative when it came to killing off Goblins. From destroying guard rails and flinging them off the edge of pathways with it (Cat gave kudos to Dwalin for that idea) to using ladders to push them off (Kili used that method), they were killing massive amounts of them in no time.

Ok, she freaked whenever it came to destroying a bridge. But she was, surprisingly, very good at timing it, waiting until a good dozen or so were on and then cutting the ropes at the last minute, sending them plummeting down to God knows where.

They would also destroy walkways attached to the sides of the tunnels, sending any goblin on them down, and preventing them from following the company as they ran. Cat sort of hoped Gandalf knew where he was going, because to be honest, she was completely lost. The network of tunnels was like a maze, and she couldn't tell where they were going.

"Quickly!"

They managed to reach a section of path suspended completely by ropes hanging from the ceiling and that had to be incredibly dangerous, especially since they were cutting the ropes holding them up. Fortunately, it didn't send them plummeting to their doom, but sent the walkway swinging towards another path.

"Jump!"

Normally, Cat wouldn't comply to Thorin's orders that easily, but it was that or death, and Cat rather liked her life at the moment, so she jumped, skidding when she hit the ground, only just managing to stop herself from falling off the edge of the path. Meanwhile, their suspended path had swung back, a section of the company, including Gandalf, still on it. A few goblins had managed to get on, but when it swung back to their side, all the company plus one wizard had jumped off, Fili cutting the ropes as he did so, sending the wooden path and the goblins on it down into the dark.

At least Gollum wouldn't be short of goblin meat any time soon.

Cat internally shuddered at that thought.

Yes, her mind was weird.

As they ran, Gandalf struck the ceiling with his staff, sending a boulder rolling down the path ahead of them. Cat thought of it as a very Idiana Jones-esque moment. Not like she was complaining, it was squishing goblins after all, and anything that killed those creepy little creatures was excellent in her books.

They reached a bridge which they ran across, before the inevitable happened. The Great Goblin burst through the bottom of it, blocking their exit.

"Come on, you fell!" Cat whined. This was so unfair. They were so close, but no, the stupid goblin couldn't be normal and die. It had to stop them escaping. "Go and die already!"

"You thought you could escape me?" _Well, duh_, Cat thought sarcastically. Honestly, they wouldn't be running if they didn't think they could out run the foul thing. The goblin swung his mace twice at Gandalf, causing the wizard to move back, stumbling. "What are you going to do now, wizard?"

He poked him in the eye. Cat had to admit, that was totally unexpected, and totally awesome at the same time. It wasn't all flashy lights and smoke effects, he just struck the Great Goblin in the eye with a long piece of wood (or staff – same difference really). Gandalf then took his sword and sliced the goblin's belly, causing the creature to fall to his knees, clutching at the wound.

"That'll do it."

And, with a quick cut to the neck, the goblin was dead.

But his weight caused the bridge to begin to break, the section cat and the company were standing on beginning to slide down the cavern walls at an incredible speed. She was aware of Caleb gripping her hand so tight it nearly cut off her circulation. This was way too much falling for him to take in one day, Cat figured.

Everyone was yelling and screaming in terror until it came to a stop, crushing many dwarves. Fortunately for her and Caleb, they were relatively free of rubble, so it was only a matter of pushing a few planks of wood off themselves and getting to their feet. Caleb was trembling like a leaf in a gale and Cat clung to his arm, a sign that she, too, was absolutely terrified by what happened. Not to Caleb's extent, but very close to it.

"Well, that could have been worse."

"You just jinxed it." Cat sang under her breath.

True to word, the Great Goblin's corpse landed on the wreckage of the bridge, crushing the dwarves underneath, causing them to groan in pain.

"You've got to be joking!"

They managed to get the dwarves out from the rubble, a lot quicker as Caleb and Cat were helping. It was Kili who spotted their slight problem.

"Gandalf!"

Goblins. More than they could fight.

"There's too many! We can't fight them."

"Only one thing will save us: daylight! Come on! Here, on your feet!"

And they ran for it, following Gandalf, tired and exhausted, but Cat felt the adrenaline pumping through her. She'd never felt more alive, more ready to take on anything.

She wondered if it was like a sugar rush, when afterwards she'd just want to die.

She hoped it wasn't, because that would be rubbish.

XoOoX

I NEED TO STOP! HALP!

I didn't do any history revision…I'm gonna be cramming, yey!

CALI FOR THE WIN! You guys ship it *cue sparkling shower* I feel so happy!

Don't think I'll pair Cat with anyone. She and Fili shall have an epic bromance.

I attempted to draw Cat today. On paper it looked good, on the computer, not so much.

Anyways, read, review and all that jazz! ~Jazz xx


	9. Caleb IX

Caleb had never felt so relieved to be out in the open air. He'd just about had enough of caves and tunnels and mountains. If he never had to pass through another one again, it would be too soon. He still felt slightly dizzy from the fall, and his hands shook. He was relieved that he had the sense to grab their packs from the pile of weapons, especially his.

The book was in it, and it was important to keep it on him at all times. It was very much useful, and could possibly get them out of sticky situations.

He really didn't want to be saddled with the task of carrying Bombur through Mirkwood.

They, meaning him, Kili, Fili and Cat, skidded down the hill, Caleb managing to catch Cat before she lost her balance and fell flat on her face.

"Five, six, seven, eight...Bifur, Bofur...that's ten...Fili, Kili, Catherine, Caleb...that's fourteen...and Bombur - that makes fifteen. Where's Bilbo? Where is our Hobbit? Where is our hobbit?!"

Caleb spun around, fast, nearly falling over in his haste, only just getting caught by Kili as he scanned the area for any sign of the Hobbit. Nope, not there.

He'd met Gollum and got the ring.

Well, this put a slight damper on things.

"Curse the halfling! Now he's lost!"

"I thought he was with Dori!"

"Don't blame me!"

"Well, where did you last see him?" Gandalf asked, voice worried.

"I think I saw him slip away, when they first collared us." Nori answered.

"Yeah, he did." Caleb confirmed. "He ducked down – I think we were making too much noise for someone so small and so quiet to be noticed, especially seeing as we were most likely the bigger threat.

"What happened exactly? Tell me!" Caleb winced slightly. That was loud.

"I'll tell you what happened." Thorin's voice was quiet, almost resigned as he spoke. Caleb bit the inside of his cheek. He was sure after this speech, Cat was going to something reckless and probably stupid. "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone."

"Ok, that does it."

"Catherine…" Caleb hissed, wincing as the girl stalked over to Thorin, his suspicions confirmed. She was barely taller than him, but seemed to tower over the dwarven king, her eyes sparking with anger. "This is going to be ugly."

"I'm sick and tired of you picking on Bilbo! What the hell has he done to you, apart from, oh, I don't know, saving your life and coming on this bloody quest to get your home back!" Caleb hid his face in his hands, the two brothers staring in open awe at Cat. Thorin looked enraged and opened his mouth, probably to yell at her, but Cat started again. "I can understand why you openly despise me, because I actually don't give a damn about your status or whatever, but Bilbo has done nothing! He lets you and your company destroy his house and empty his pantry and he endures your words, no matter how much they hurt him. He deserves none of what you give him, and you bloody well know it!"

"That's enough, Catherine." Caleb peered out between his fingers to see that Bilbo had returned and had placed a hand on a still fuming Cat's arm. "But thank you."

Cat nodded, gave Thorin a look that clearly said 'this isn't over' and stalked back towards Caleb, Fili and Kili.

"I hate you for being so reckless."

"He had it coming, the prat."

Caleb decided it was pointless trying to reason with Cat. He'd realised it a long time ago, and thought he could train her into being reasonable with the use of brownie.

Apparently, this had not worked.

"Bilbo Baggins! I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!" Gandalf sounded relieved, and this drew attention away from Cat, who was still receiving slightly awed looks from the princes. Caleb forced down a growl in his throat.

Why, he didn't know.

Well, why he wanted to growl, that was.

"Bilbo, we'd given you up!" Kili had torn his eyes away from Cat, looking at Bilbo with easily visible relief.

"How on earth did you get past the Goblins?!" Fili asked, eyes wide.

Caleb knew how he'd managed it, of course.

Didn't mean he was going to tell them.

"How, indeed."

Cue the awkward silence. Bilbo was thinking, but laughed slightly, almost hesitantly, before putting his thumbs into the pockets on his waistcoat. Caleb bit his lip hard, knowing that the ring was there, so close and he wanted to take it and throw it into Mount Doom but resisted it, because he knew of its temptation and, even though he knew him in control of so much power would be disastrous, he would fall for it. Just about everyone fell for the lure of the ring.

He felt Kili slip a hand into his, his brown eyes nervous as Caleb tasted blood. He sucked his lip into his mouth, cleaning it of blood, before giving Kili a slight smile. The dwarf smiled back, before returning his gaze back to the current conversation, not removing his hand.

"Well, what does it matter? He's back!" Gandalf sounded happy, though Caleb knew it was forced. The wizard had seen the ring.

"It matters!" Thorin said, then hastily added; "I want to know: why did you come back?"

Bilbo paused slightly, contemplating his words, before he spoke.

"Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back, because you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can."

There was silence again and Caleb was hyper aware of Kili shifting next to him. He turned, and found the youngest dwarf looking at him.

"You had the same reason for coming." He clarified. His eyes were full of gratitude. "You didn't have your own gain in mind at all."

"I gained friends." Caleb stated. "That's all I wanted. And you need a home, so it was a win-win situation." Kili laughed slightly.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

A howl broke through the silence that there was currently and Caleb cursed under his breath.

"Wargs." Cat clarified. "Well, shit."

"Out of the frying pan..." Thorin started.

"...and into the fire!" Gandalf finished. "Run! RUN!"

XoooX

"I hate heights. I hate them." Caleb clarified and Kili shot him a worried look.

The trees, of course, were the safest place from the Wargs. They couldn't climb, and therefore, any high up place was the best place to be. Especially if there was no path up to where they were. It didn't make Caleb like being so high up any more, but it was a huge pro amongst the small cons.

He could cope with it for now.

Meanwhile, Fili was scanning the Wargs and their riders, as though checking their numbers, seeing if it was possible that they could take them down. His posture suddenly became rigid, staring.

"Impossible…"

The sight of the pale orc chilled Caleb to the bone. He knew he was still alive, of course he did, but seeing him in the flesh made it all the more terrifying. This was the orc that had beheaded kings, and was thirsty for the blood of the one who had bested him in battle.

Caleb suddenly developed an appreciation for heights.

At least Azog couldn't reach him up here.

"Nuzdigid? Nuzdi gast?"

Caleb found himself, unintentionally, mouthing the words. He remembered them from the subtitles and they were the most chilling words. Kili was staring at him with unhidden shock.

"What did he…you know…?" Caleb nodded. "Tell me."

"Do you smell it? The scent of fear?" Caleb whispered, ears pricked, listening for the next words spoken. "I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of Thrain."

Kili shuddered and Caleb reached up to take his hand, rubbing soothing circles over his knuckles. Fili was listening to, face drawn, and Cat clenched the branch she was on, knuckles turning white and she bit her lip. Caleb was sure she was drawing blood.

Azog turned back to his orcs, eyes blood thirsty and Caleb repeated the words.

"That one is mine. Kill the others."

And the attack on the trees began and Caleb had to release Kili's hand to grasp more firmly onto the trunk of the tree as it shook violently under the Wargs assault. Caleb let out a cry of shock as the tree began to tip and it was only with Kili, who grabbed his arm, that he managed to jump from that tree to the next.

This continued until they reached the final tree, on an overhang which lead down to a mighty drop and Caleb clutched the tree even tighter, the drop making him feel woozy and no, he wasn't going to black out, because then he definitely would fall. Azog let out a cruel, vicious laugh.

That's when Gandalf threw the fiery pinecone down to Fili, who flung it at the Wargs.

"Yes!" Cat cried, before grabbing another pinecone, which Gandalf set alight, and flung it into the midst of the oversized wolves. Caleb knew Cat wasn't the best at aiming, but it definitely set fire to something.

"Bet you I can set a Warg on fire before you." Kili challenged Caleb, who smirked back.

"You're on, your highness."

The entire company was soon flinging pinecones at their attackers and, unfortunately for Caleb, Kili was the first to set a Warg on fire. To be honest, he wasn't that bothered. This was keeping the creatures away, which meant they were safe, at least for a while.

They were retreating and the company were cheering.

Well, until the tree fell.

"Oh, come on!" Cat screamed, still holding on for dear life and Caleb was sure he was going to die because that drop was large and…

Kili held his hand tightly, refusing to let go.

Suddenly, Caleb felt a lot better.

The dwarves were clinging onto the branches and each other, determined to stay on the tree and not fall because, well, death and stuff. It wouldn't be pretty, to put it simply.

"Uncle?" Caleb looked up at Fili's voice to see Thorin standing up , making his way down the tree, sword drawn.

"What is he doing?" Kili hissed, eyes wide as Thorin's narrowed, staring directly at…

"He's going to get himself killed." Cat muttered as the dwarven king charged at Azog, who merely grinned smugly.

It was no contest. The Warg leaped at Thorin, sending him to the ground with a powerful blow from its forepaw. Caleb heard a yell and realised it was him. Would it change? Would this be Thorin's last battle?

He was over-reacting, he had to be. But the fear still lingered, of course it did.

Thorin got back to his feet, breathing heavy as the Warg and Azog charged Thorin again, a swing from Azog's mace hitting him in the face before he had time to block it, sending him to the ground once more. Cat let out a scream and Balin shouted out.

"Come on, get up." Caleb muttered through gritted teeth and Kili gripped his hand tighter, cutting off his circulation. Caleb wasn't overly bothered by this, as he was doing the same to the prince.

Azog roared in excitement, his enemy almost defeated. The white Warg clamped it's jaws around Thorin's torso, causing the king to cry out in pain, something which Caleb never thought he'd see the king do. Cat was struggling, from what he could see in his peripheral vision, but why, he wasn't sure.

The Warg shook Thorin, who managed to hit it with the pummel of his sword. The Warg roared, slinging Thorin aside, the dwarf landing heavily, sword rolling out of his hand, eyes half closed, almost unconscious. Caleb felt tears welling up in his eyes, because no, he couldn't be killed this time, because they hadn't changed much.

One of the orcs approached Thorin, sword drawn. Bilbo had gotten to his feet, Cat joining him, sword drawn and Caleb wanted to curse.

"Screw staying safe, eh Mister Boggins?"

And with that, the two charged, Bilbo flinging himself at the orc just as he prepared to swing his sword down, Cat running to stand by Thorin, a growl rumbling in her throat as she stood, ready to attack if anyone came too close to the king.

Bilbo had managed to land a killing blow to the orc, before moving to stand by Cat. He was holding his sword at Azog, almost in challenge. Both his and Cat's face were streaked with dirt, which Caleb suddenly realised. It was an odd time to notice such things, but still. Azog smiled, baring teeth in hatred as he spoke in the black speech. That was what did it.

He, Kili, Fili and Dwalin charged forward, Caleb still holding the sword he'd used to fight the goblins as they began to fight the Wargs furiously, Caleb managing to cut the head of one of the orcs, covering him in blood. He didn't care. No one hurt his family, be they related by blood or not.

Cat had joined in now, but was fighting closer to Thorin with Bilbo, who was fighting Azog and Caleb was scared for both of them.

Soon, it was hopeless, as they were soon surrounded, outnumbered by the Wargs. Kili shot Caleb a look, full of so many emotions that it made his heart flutter and, right then, his feelings were confirmed.

He was in love with Kili.

Brilliant time to realise that, when they were about to die.

"Look!" Fili yelled and there were giant eagles and Caleb let out a relieved laugh because it was about time they found some more allies and they weren't going to die just yet.

Thank God for Gandalf and his moths.

Eventually, they were all on eagles, Caleb sharing one with Cat, who looked exhausted yet worried as all eyes turned to the unconscious Thorin, who was dangling from the claws of an eagle.

XoooX

Eventually, they reached the Carrock when the eagles put them down, Thorin first, laid down gently, then Gandalf, who ran over to the unconscious dwarf.

It was his eagle which landed next, and Caleb slid off it, darting over to the dwarven kings side, Cat at his heels. Bilbo followed, standing next to Cat, who ran a hand down the hobbits back in comfort. Kili and Fili soon joined them, Kili next to Caleb and Fili next to his brother.

Gandalf placed a hand on Thorin's forehead, murmuring words of a spell. The dwarf's eyes flickered open and he took in a shaky breath. Caleb felt his shoulders slump with relief and Kili let out a thankful sigh.

"The halfling?" Thorin croaked out, voice hoarse. "And Catherine?"

"It's all right. Bilbo is here, and Catherine. They're quiet safe."

Thorin made an attempt to stand, and Kili and Caleb helped him. As soon as he was on his feet, he shook the two off, and moved towards the Hobbit.

"You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!" Bilbo looked worried, anxious and slightly scared. "Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us?"

Cat looked ready to yell at Thorin yet again. Caleb placed a restraining hand on her shoulder, squeezing slightly. The dwarf moved until he was face to face with a scared Bilbo, but the dwarven king merely sighed, relived.

"I've never been so wrong in all my life!"

At that, Thorin pulled Bilbo into an embrace which, after a while, Bilbo reciprocated, looking rather startled.

Caleb didn't mention the fact that Cat let out a tiny squeak of 'Bagginshield' at that.

"I am sorry I doubted you."

"No, I would have doubted me too. I'm not a hero or a warrior...not even a burglar."

"And you…" Thorin had released Bilbo, and turned to face Cat. "I –"

"Don't even think about saying something sappy, Thorin Oakenshield." Cat cut him off. "I don't really want a hug, either. You have every right to sort of want me to be out of your hair, because I continuously challenge you."

"So true." Caleb muttered, looking despaired. Kili patted him on the back. Cat ignored him.

"I think, however, we can reach a mutual respect for each other. As long as you don't boss me around continuously." Thorin stared, slightly amused, before nodding. Cat beamed and Thorin turned again, staring off into the distance. Everyone followed his gaze.

"Is that what I think it is?" Bilbo asked, moving further up the Carrock. The company followed, staring at the outline of the single mountain, silhouetted against the dawn sky.

"Erebor—The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great dwarf kingdoms of Middle-earth."

"Our home." Thorin said in reverence. A bird chirruped, flying past the company.

"A raven! The birds are returning to the mountain." Oin said. Caleb let out a slight laugh.

"It's a thrush, Oin, not a raven!"

"But we'll take it as a sign - a good omen." Thorin said, looking at Bilbo, who smiled at the dwarven king.

"You're right. I do believe the worst is behind us."

Caleb let out a supressed grin, and looked at Kili who beamed back. A laugh bubbled up from Cat's lips, a relieved laugh, and Caleb had to agree with Thorin.

The thrush was a good omen, indeed.

XoOoX

NO MORE UPDATES FOR A WHILE!

I've got to try and go to the book now, which'll be fun. I am actually revising for exams (I got quite a lot of history done today), but I need to re-read the book, so I have a brief idea of what I'm writing. As well as that, I need to revise for my chemistry re-sit and my maths exam, so updates will almost definitely come after the fourteenth.

This chapter is eleven words off three thousand. My longest chapter so far. My hand hurts.

Thanks to all you guys who review and favourite and follow. You keep me writing!

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	10. Catherine X

The eagles had shared their catch with them. Cat was grateful because she really couldn't be bothered to hunt and the food she had in her pack was slightly smushed, turning into a crumbly or gooey mess. Just looking in it made her want to throw up. The clothes were salvageable, thankfully because she would need to change as soon as possible.

Preferably when they reached Beorns place.

Nori had gotten a fire going and Ori had returned to his journal, quill scribbling furiously. Now and then he'd look up, smile slightly, before returning to his scribbling. Bombur was cooking the meat, Bofur whittling away at a piece of wood. Caleb was shying away from Kili and Fili, who were trying to inspect a cut he'd gotten across his right cheek. Cat hadn't noticed it before.

"It's fine, honestly." He said, narrowly avoiding Fili's hands, which were trying to grab him to hold him still. "It's just a scratch!"

"That could get infected." Kili scowled, eyes narrowing. "Caleb, hold still!"

"Go sort yourself out."

"We're used to getting injured." Fili scoffed. "And your sister says you aren't used to it." Caleb's burning gaze turned to Cat, who grinned sheepishly.

"I'll kill her later." He muttered, before finally holding still. Kili smiled slightly, before applying some sort of salve to it. Caleb winced. "That stings!"

"At least it'll stop it from getting infected." Kili frowned slightly. "And then you'll just get sick. It's not nice."

"You've had an infected wound before?" Caleb's eyebrows furrowed as Kili checked his cheek nonchalantly, holding the taller boys chin in his hand.

"It wasn't anything major, just mildly infected." He commented. "There, done."

"Thanks." Caleb ruffled Kili's hair and the youngest dwarf let out an annoyed whine. "Let's go steal some food from Bombur."

The two walked off, a slight spring in Caleb's step. Cat walked over to Fili, who was watching his beaming brother in slight confusion.

"Why's he so happy?"

"It has begun." Cat said solemnly. Fili quirked an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Cali." She replied. Fili still looked in the dark on the whole situation. Cat sighed. "Caleb and Kili's couple name."

"Wait, what?" Fili let out a startled laugh.

"Your brother plus my brother equals a couple." Cat said this as though explaining to a small child that two plus two equals four. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No!" Fili spluttered. "Kili…he doesn't like boys."

"Fee, I thought my brother didn't swing that way until a day ago." Cat nodded sympathetically. "But yeah. He does. Together, they make Cali, the most awesome couple ever…next to Thilbo."

"Caleb," Fili's voice sounded shaky as he called to Cat's twin. "Your sister's scaring me."

Cat's mouth dropped open, offended, but Caleb merely laughed, chuckles resounding from most of the company.

"She scares everyone."

"I do not!"

"I bet even Dwalin was scared of you when you opened your mouth and began to talk." Caleb stated dryly. "You scared Ori half to death the other day, not to mention Bilbo, me, Fili and probably about half the company."

"I hate you all." Caleb beamed.

"Love you too, little sis."

"Shall we change the topic?" Kili butted in. "As lovely as this sibling bonding session is."

"Oh, shut up." Caleb elbowed Kili in the side. "Tell us about dwarf culture, then – you've heard about our pretty miserable lives, it's your turn."

"What is it you want to know?" Bofur asked.

"Your hair." Cat piped up. "I mean, it's all long and jazz. Is it important to you?"

"Very much." Fili said. "We get braids when we come of age, when courting, for brave deeds. So on and so forth. Hair is a sign of status, as well as beards. The longer and more extravagant, the better."

"So you braid your moustache," Cat stated, very slowly. "Because you are vain?"

"No!"

"You so do!" Cat was laughing at the mock outrages look on Fili's face. She yanked on one of his moustache braids. "These can't mean anything!"

"Whatever." Fili huffed. "Dwarven women have beards, too. The more impressive, the more attractive they a – what are you doing?"

"Stealing your hair to make a moustache." Cat responded, before placing the segment of hair from Fili's head just above her upper lip. "Am I attractive now?"

"As attractive as someone with black hair and a blonde moustache can be." Kili muttered, causing Caleb to laugh.

"Why don't you have a beard, oh little Kili?" Cat asked teasingly. Kili's expression became dark. Cat bit her lip. "Don't answer that." Caleb patted Kili's shoulder.

"Why did you cut your hair?" Ori changed the subject. "I thought you'd have long hair."

"Long hair's too mainstream." She received blank looks and Cat rolled her eyes. "It's normal for girls to have long hair. I don't exactly fit into the definition of 'normal'."

"You can say that again." Thorin murmured and Kili made a choking noise in the back of his throat. The king winced slightly as he shifted his leg.

"Does it hurt?" Bilbo asked, concerned.

"Nothing rest won't sort out." Thorin assured him. Cat smirked and just couldn't resist the temptation.

"Did you know that orgasms produce painkilling endorphins?"

Caleb promptly choked on the food in his mouth and Kili roared in laughter, patting him on the back as Cat burst into hysterical giggles.

"Why would you say that? How do you even know that?"

"I do read, you know." She replied, grinning at a brilliantly flushed Bilbo, face resembling a tomato, and a slightly pink Thorin. "Just thought it was useful knowledge, is all."

"It wasn't." Caleb responded dryly, Kili leaning against his side, trying to regain a normal breathing pattern. Fili was laughing.

"You definitely don't go under the category of 'normal'."

"Oh, I know."

XoooX

"So, this guy can change what he looks like."

"He turns into a bear, Miss Catherine."

"Oh my God, that is so cool!" Fili winced at the high pitch that Cat reached in her excitement. "Caleb, Caleb, this guy's like a freaking animagus!"

"Ani-what now?"

"Yes, Cat, that's nice." Caleb said absently, ignoring a very confused Kili's question. "Is there a river nearby? I'm parched."

"Yes, just beyond those trees." Gandalf gestured towards a thicket of trees. "I suggest you rest here for a while – I need to think of how to get into my friend's house without him wanting us to leave."

"Some 'friend'." Cat muttered. "Since I'm the lady, I'm going first!"

"No way!" Kili sounded outraged, but it was obviously exaggerated. "Caleb asked first, so obviously he should get down there first!"

"No, it's ladies first."

"You're hardly a lady." Nori commented. Cat's mouth dropped open.

"That's insulting! For that, I definitely should go first." And, before anyone could protest, she skipped off.

After a few minutes, she returned, looking fresh, though the scratches from the branches when she'd leapt from tree to tree were visible when she rolled her sleeves up.

"Ugh, my hair's gonna take forever to dry." She moaned. Fili shot her an amused look over his shoulder. "How do you cope?"

"You do." And he swept off. Cat pouted.

Sometimes. Dwarves.

XoooX

Gandalf had a plan. It was a simple plan, but a plan none the less.

They were going to enter in groups, Gandalf and Bilbo being the first. Apparently, Beorn was more comfortable with those who weren't dwarves, or at least that was Cat's opinion.

Or maybe Gandalf didn't want Thorin being hostile. Again. There was a very high possibility of that happening, because that was how the dwarf king rolled.

Cat knew that her tongue was probably going to run away without her brain yet again, so deemed it reasonable that she was paired with her twin, because he would actually cover for her. What Caleb lacked in fighting skills, he made up by keeping Cat out of trouble and she was forever grateful for that. So many detentions were stopped because of Caleb coming to the rescue with some excellent excuse or just pulling her away from fights. Not to mention he helped her with her homework.

That was the one good thing about having a nerd for a brother – he was incredibly good at doing maths and such.

When they went in, Cat could only stare because dear God that man was huge. As in, tall. Like, really, really tall.

"Holy cheese." She muttered. Caleb snorted in amusement next to her and Beorn's eyes landed on them. Caleb immediately stood up tall, trying to make a good impression. Cat hated the fact that she was small for her age. Oh, and her species. Caleb was, too, but was a few inches taller than her. This gave her a severe disadvantage. Cat hated being tiny. At least she was taller than most of the dwarves.

Most, meaning Dwalin, Thorin, Kili and Fili could look her in the eyes. Which sucked majorly. Honestly, they were _dwarves_. She was supposed to be taller!

Then they were all inside and Beorn commented on her presence.

"I see you have brought a woman with you on your quest, Gandalf – are you sure this is the wisest choice?"

And then something snapped. Maybe it was because she'd killed a few goblins to be implied that she was not worthy, or the fact this was the second time she had someone imply that she was helpless, and Cat just exploded.

"For crying out loud, the next damn person who even implies that I am useless will get bitten!" She ranted. The few dwarves close to her inches away slowly. Caleb hid his face in his hands and Beorn just watched her. Cat waved her arms in stress. "I have gone and killed a good amount of goblins, survived a stone giant battle, ran from wargs and orcs and challenged Azog and his nasties with only Bilbo at my side and I think that is more than enough evidence that I am not some helpless, little 'damsel in distress', thank you very much! Not to mention, I've ranted at the bloody, soon-to-be king under the freaking mountain, and that guy is scary! I am not helpless, and the decision to bring me along was not unwise, thank you very much!"

"She just yelled at the man who can turn into a bear." Bilbo murmured, looking slightly in awe. "She was not lying when she said she had no filters."

"You have only just realised this?" Fili replied. Cat had calmed down and had seemed to realise her reckless move and was smiling sheepishly at Beorn, who stared at her for a while, before letting out a booming laugh which caused Cat to start, tripping over her own feet and nearly falling on the floor, only just being caught by Nori and Dwalin, both who were giving her amused smirks. She stuck her tongue out at them.

"This one is fiery." Beorn said in what Cat hoped was approval. If it wasn't, then she was sort of dead. How many times had Cat nearly died now? It seemed like way too many. "I like that."

"Well, that's a relief, because I thought I was going to be put in a life death situation. Again." Cat beamed. "Someone likes my ramblings. See, Caleb, I don't scare everyone!"

"I bet you scared Elrond."

"No. I just confused him immensely." She replied brightly. Beorn let out another hearty laugh.

"Yes, I do like this one – Cat is your name, correct?"

"Yup! Catherine Adams, at your service."

"I love how she gets a warmer welcome than us." Kili muttered. Caleb elbowed him.

"That's because she's Cat. She gets warm welcomes, or she stabs people with sticks."

"You're going to continuously bring that up, aren't you?"

"Probably. It's a great way to start a conversation – 'hey, my sister stabbed a man through the hand with a stick! Bet you haven't done that before.'" Kili nodded slightly.

"Stay for dinner." Beorn said, before gesturing to a door. They made their way over and Cat didn't realise how much she had missed having vegetables with meat, like a proper meal, until it was laid out in front of her on a plate. Served by dogs.

Ok, the last part was slightly disturbing.

Who knew where those paws had been?

But the food was delicious and edible and so much better than what crumbly remains they had found in their packs. Cat went to sleep that night on a full stomach and never felt happier.

XoooX

It was times like these when Cat felt similar to Alice, who fell down the rabbit hole and into a completely and utterly mad world.

Somehow, the dwarves had broken into Beorn's stash of ale. Fun.

So, they were getting drunk. As you do, when you have what could be an almost unlimited supply of alcohol and a group of friends and relatives. Basically, it was chaotic. It appeared that only Bilbo and Caleb were intent on staying sober.

The only reason Cat was still coherent at this point was because she hadn't gotten her hands on enough alcohol to get drunk, courtesy of her brother. Said brother currently had a very drunk, very affectionate Kili draped across him, and Caleb's cheeks had turned a very impressive shade of red. Bilbo had retreated to his room and Gandalf had vanished.

"I don't see why you won't just let me get drunk." Cat huffed, crossing her eyes and glaring at her brother moodily. He was attempting to prise Kili's arms from around his shoulders, the dwarf's face buried into the crook between his neck and shoulder to no avail. The young prince was obviously very comfortable in his current position.

"Because you will get a hangover, then you will be grumpy."

"Bofur reminds me of the caterpillar from Alice in wonderland now." Cat observed idly, watching as the dwarf blew out smoke rings from his pipe, a mug of ale in one hand. He was one of the very few, slightly sober dwarves in the room, the others being Balin, Thorin and Ori. Cat had given up on keeping track of what they were doing when her brother's embarrassment became all the more amusing to her. Thorin had an eye on him, though Cat was sure his lips were twitching every time Caleb jolted in his seat because Kili moved his head slightly, allowing his lips to brush over the boy's neck. It was actually hilarious to see her brother get so flustered over something as simple as a drunken dwarf. "But anyway, let's change the topic of discussion – you like the completely plastered dwarf who is currently clinging to you like a lifeline, correct?"

Caleb stopped trying to pry the unresisting arms off of him.

"I do not!"

"The redness of your face just told me you lied."

"Cat, shut up!"

"He's too inebriated to understand a word we're saying, or even remember it in the morning." Cat waved an uncaring arm. "The point is, you like him, he likes you back, ergo you should get together." Caleb spluttered slightly, before looking mournful.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Only to, oh, I don't know, the entire company except you two." Cat paused. "Man, this is like a really cheesy fan fiction."

"Sounds like something you would wri-"

"The point is," Cat cut across Caleb quite loudly, and her brother shot her a dirty look as Kili's arms tightened around him minutely. "You need to act on it, before you slowly drive everyone to insanity because of your pining for each other."

"We are not 'pining for each other'." Caleb protested. "Besides, this isn't a story…anymore, and things only turn out perfectly like that in stories."

"Then at least make it look to him that you like him." Cat retaliated. "Compliment his archery, offer to, I dunno, brush his hair? I don't know if dwarves like that…they seem very territorial over their hair."

"Only you would say something like that." The boy commented dryly.

"Caleb, I just want you to be happy, and if this idiot of a dwarf makes you happy, then you shouldn't let him get away so easily." Cat smiled slightly, sympathetic.

"We might not stay here, Cat." Caleb sighed, placing his chin on the dwarf's hair. Kili had appeared to have fallen asleep, his grip slackening and his head lolling on Caleb's shoulder. The dwarves shoulder's rose and fell with slow, even breaths. "And I can't risk him growing attached. Heck, I didn't want to get attached, and then I did."

"What if we stay here?" Cat countered. "And you end up seeing him getting paired off with some pretty, feminine dwarf? What then?" Caleb flinched violently and Cat stood up, placing a hand on his shoulder which wasn't occupied by the head of a dwarf. "Think about it, Caleb. If you love him, then don't let him go."

And she turned and walked off to her room, the rambunctious noises of the drunken dwarves drowning out her slightly morbid thoughts.

XoooX

"Was it really necessary to put the head on a pike?" Caleb tilted his head to the side, nose wrinkled slightly as he observed the severed goblins head, which was swarmed by flies, and the warg coat slung over the fence.

"That must be a waste of fur." Cat said, pointing out the obvious. This earned her looks of confusion, but that was a daily occurrence by now. "Couldn't you make it into a coat or something? Much more practical, not to mention warm and just as intimidating. It'll warn enemies that if they cross you, you'll turn them into matching slippers." She was ignored.

Typical.

"Beorn is lending us horses and ponies for our journey to Mirkwood." Gandalf informed them. Cat let out a whoop. "As well as giving us supplies. But we must send the ponies and horses back once we reach the edge of Mirkwood." Cat's expression turned downcast.

"So we've got to walk. Through a wood. Which is called _Mirk_wood. Does anyone else sense something surprisingly ominous about this, or is it just me?" She received no response. "Just me? Ok, that does it. Either I'm slightly paranoid, or I'm surrounded by idiots."

"I'd go for the former." Fili suggested. "As your brother is intelligent. Although, the 'idiot' part applies for Kili."

"Hey! That's so not true!"

"Point." Cat hummed. "Ok, I need to calm down slightly…wait. There'll be spiders in the forest." She shuddered. Cat didn't notice Caleb's flinch at that. "Fili, kill 'em for me?"

"Sure." The blonde prince smiled. "I'll protect you from the big, scary spiders." Another wince from Caleb, which earned him a comforting pat on the shoulder from Kili. Surprisingly, the relationship between the two hadn't been destroyed by Cat's talk with Caleb, but it hadn't progressed either. It made the girl really, really annoyed.

"Now you're just mocking me."

"As always. Now, are we setting off or not?"

So they did, no one feeling the same shiver Cat did at the prospect of entering the woods. Sure they were worried, but no one other than Cat and Caleb knew what dangers they were going to face.

Boy, were they going to be in for a shock.

XoOoX

'Nother chapter up before the fourteenth.

Basically, I've been adding to this when breaking from revision. So I finished, 'cause I've had no exams since Tuesday and have been revising quite a bit, as well as not doing any past seven due to the will to die.

If any of you are reading this and are artists and have done fan art, I'd love a link!

…I feel like I'm begging for fan art by saying that. Well, this is awkward.

Oh, and about that sequel…I may have sorta written part of the first chapter…so, yeah, it's going to happen when this is done. Please don't kill me!

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	11. Caleb XI

"So…this is Mirkwood."

"Yup." Cat was staring out into the forest, Caleb next to her. To be honest, he was worried about what was in there, especially because of Cat. Knowing her, she'd have a panic attack when the spiders came, which they would. He knew they would. There was no way to avoid that.

If only they stuck to the path. But no. They wouldn't. Dwarves were stubborn like that.

"It looks very…mirky."

"Well done for pointing out the obvious, Cat." Fili stated, clapping his hands sarcastically. Cat scowled, placing her hands on her hips.

It did look very daunting, though. The trees seemed to almost bend inwards, over the pathway leading in to the woods, as though if they walked through it, the branches would ensnare them and keep them trapped forever. It was scary how foreboding a forest could look. Caleb began to chew on his bottom lip in anticipation.

"Are you sure we're prepared enough? Like, with enough food and drink and such?"

"Caleb, relax." Cat stated. "As much as Thorin can be arrogant, he isn't stupid enough to let us go into Mirkwood without enough supplies."

"And there'll be animals in there we can hunt." Kili added. Caleb decided against muttering about how the animals would be inedible. The disease had spread over the Greenwood quickly, giving it the name Mirkwood.

"Still…this is an elven realm. And you know how the elves feel about this quest."

"I thought Elrond was cool about it."

"Yes, and then there is Thranduil. Thranduil, as in, arch nemesis of dwarves since forever." Caleb rolled his eyes at the stares he was garnering. "I'm just saying, we need to be careful and not do anything stupid." He directed pointed looks towards his sister, Fili, Kili and a few other dwarves, who looked rather miffed. Caleb wasn't overly bothered. He'd prefer not to be trapped in Thranduil's dungeons.

"Well, couldn't we just go around Mirkwood?" Bilbo asked. "I mean, if it's so bad." Thorin shook his head and Caleb bit his lip.

"It would take too long." He said. "Not to mention, heading up north would lead us into the mountains, and I don't think anyone wants to trek through the mountains after the last incident when we almost died."

"Wow, that's surprising." Cat muttered sarcastically. Caleb ignored her.

"And the south leads us through a route that is constantly manned by goblins and wargs and such." Caleb shrugged. "So, in retrospect, the best way is through the forest. If we stick. To. The. Path."

"You're very sure that we must stick to the path." Nori commented.

"Well, yeah. Gandalf and Beorn said we should, so we should." Caleb clarified. "Sometimes, I wonder if any of you have an ounce of common sense."

"Hey!" Cat protested, but she was diligently ignored, Thorin leading the way into the forest.

The forest was awful, dark and dull, with barely any light. The leaves themselves looked black with decay. They were careful to stay on the path, but it wasn't really too hard. The branches and trees didn't block the path in any shape and form, but the path was narrow, so they were walking through it single file, Thorin leading and Dwalin at the back.

They'd decided not to even attempt to stray when Cat tripped, landing into one of the massive webs to the side. She screamed and struggled and it took the combined effort of Ori and Fili to calm her down long enough to brush the web off her. She was hyperventilating and many were wondering what could create webs that big. Spiders, yes, but not something as large as that.

Caleb didn't have the heart to tell them that, yes, they were spiders. Just not the common garden ones.

They'd taken turns on watch, but it seemed a silent agreement that Cat wouldn't take watch. After the episode with the web, they had realised how much spiders affected her, and had basically formed a circle around her, Fili, Kili, Ori and Caleb closest to the centre, unless they were on watch.

Caleb adored those moments of solitude, even with the creepy eyes, but bugs had never freaked him out, really. He had managed to find a torch in Cat's bag, along with hair grips, matches, rope and some other stuff which he wondered why Cat carried about with her on a daily basis. Apparently, as well as the bare essentials and their books and earrings, there were also stuff they normally had on them. The hair grips, Caleb could understand, but not matches. Or rope. Really.

He wasn't complaining, though. The torch allowed him to not sit in the dark, but observe the sleeping dwarves.

It was probably going to be the only time Caleb was going to take the mick out of them.

The weirdest looking dwarf was Nori, in his opinion. With his red hair, three pointed hair-style and braided eyebrows, his appearance was sticking and for good reason, too. Not to mention he was mischievous, outspoken and had definitely caught Cat's attention, Caleb couldn't help but always see him in his peripheral vision, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Nori was a thief, and Caleb would like to keep his possessions on his being.

Then there was Bifur, who had an axe in his head. Not that Caleb was against him, Bifur seemed nice. But he couldn't understand a word he was saying and half the time ended up backing away slowly from him. This had sent Kili into fits of laughter many times, which annoyed Caleb no end. It wasn't his fault he didn't understand Khuzdul.

His cousin, Bofur, was the weirdest combination ever. With his Pippi Longstocking-esque braids, woollen hat and handle bar moustache, he looked like a confused biker. Or, at least, that's what Cat claimed. Dwalin definitely had the whole 'biker' look down, with tattoos and weapons and his really, really intimidating glare, but Bofur would more likely offer you a cup of tea than try and graffiti your car.

He could spend ages analysing the other dwarves, but his eyes always strayed back to Kili. He looked much younger when he slept, more vulnerable, though Caleb knew very well that Kili could look after himself. He was deadly with a bow and arrow, and quick on his feet. To be honest, he felt no shame in admitting that he had fallen for the dwarf in the past few weeks they had been travelling – it must have been over a month, Cat's hair was growing out, almost long enough to tie back. Kili was attractive, definitely by human standards, with his slightly messy dark hair, light stubble and, from what he could tell, strong build. Even if he wasn't a typical dwarf, Caleb didn't find any problems with him.

It was awkward, though, admitting he liked a guy. And not just any guy, but a guy who was supposed to be fictional, from another universe entirely.

At the moment, Caleb didn't see that as a problem.

Just something that made the youngest dwarf even more appealing.

XoooX

The trek through the forest killed Caleb's feet, but fortunately they'd managed to stop Bombur from falling into the river this time around, and it save Caleb's back from becoming very sore, but the company had now encountered another problem.

They were starving.

They were complaining a lot, but Cat was being strangely quiet, which scared Caleb, because she always found reasons to gripe. When he turned to look at her, she was staring at the webs in the trees off the path where they were walking. Cat was scared, Caleb knew that, and he hoped that they could stop the spider attack this ti –

"There's light in the forest."

No dice.

Well, this was going to be fun.

"No, we'll go off the path." Kili, surprisingly, was speaking reasonably. Caleb blinked. That was unexpected. "And Gandalf said –"

"We're starving, Kee." Fili mentioned. "And we don't know when we'll get out of this forest." To be honest, Caleb had to admit that Fili had a point – he felt slightly faint, because he had probably eaten the least of the company. Looking back, it was a pretty stupid move, because his stomach felt scarily hollow.

"But we won't be able to get back. That's what they said."

"Idea!" Cat piped up, taking out the rope she had in her bag and tying it around a tree branch. "This was done in a story – there was some guy –"

"Theseus." Caleb corrected, and took over the story. "He had to go into a massive maze, known as the labyrinth, to defeat the creature that lived at the centre – he was the prince of a kingdom who was forced to offer two children each year to the creature, and Theseus was going to destroy it. There was a golden string, which allowed him to navigate the maze – if he ever reached a dead end he could follow it back. He got to the centre and killed the monster, but when he was sailing home, he forgot to change his sails from black to white, so his dad thought he was dead and threw himself off the palace walls." Cat wrinkled her nose.

"Was that last part really necessary?" Caleb shrugged.

"No, not really."

"Whatever." Cat rolled her eyes, turning back to the rather baffled looking company. "The theory is basically the same – one of us holds the rope, we stay close together. When we get food, we follow the person who is holding the rope back to the path. Voila, problem solved." Cat seemed pretty pleased with this revelation.

"Ok…Ori, you take the rope. You'll be at the back of the group." Thorin commanded and the scribe took to his job. "Someone stay with him." Dwalin did so and Caleb could hear Cat suppressing a snigger. He rolled his eyes. "Caleb, up front with me. The rest of you, stick close together."

They started moving, Cat around the middle of the group with Fili and Kili.

"What are your intentions with my youngest nephew?" Caleb made a choking sound in the back of his throat at the very abrupt, unexpected question from Thorin, who was looking straight ahead, walking in the direction the light was coming from.

"I…what do you mean?" Thorin rolled his eyes. Actually rolled his eyes.

"It is obvious that you have feelings towards him, and he reciprocates them." Caleb blinked once. Twice.

"He does?"

"Yes. It is clear by his actions – he protects you, tries to keep you safe, likes to be close to you." Thorin's eyes didn't hold any malice towards him, which Caleb was relieved at, but there was a sort of sorrow in them. "I wish for my nephew to be happy, and you make him happy."

"You deserve to be happy too." Caleb replied, raising an eyebrow. "With whoever it is who makes you happy, Thorin. Be they dwarf or not – from my experience, I have come to the conclusion that love is love, and it doesn't matter who it is shared by."

Thorin hummed in the back of his throat, eyes flickering to where Bilbo was walking with Bofur. The hobbit caught Thorin's eye and beamed at him, the dwarf king turning his head away at the smile. Caleb was surprised one of Cat's relationships actually was happening…possibly two, as Dwalin was rather insistent that he stay close to the back with Ori.

"Perhaps you are right, Caleb."

"I believe I am right, Thorin." Caleb shook his hair out of his eyes – it was getting annoyingly long. "From where I and Cat come from, people are judged because of who they love. Here, things seem much more…open. It was unexpected, to say the least."

"Why should people be punished, because of who they decide to lay with?" Thorin looked slightly perplexed at what Caleb said. Caleb had to agree with Thorin at that point.

Why be punished, because of who you love?

XoooX

"Stupid elves –it's too dark!" Cat's voice echoed in the dark. Caleb couldn't see in front of his nose – it was an awful, suffocating darkness. "Ori?"

"I'm over here." Caleb jumped out of his skin as Ori called out from next to him. "Just follow my voice."

There was a lot of stepping on people, swearing and crashing, but eventually the group was together.

"Caleb, s'that you?" There was a light pressure on Caleb's upper arm and the voice was familiar - Kili.

"Yeah." He groped for the dwarf's hand on his arm and squeezed it. Kili let out a sigh of relief.

"Ok, guys, we'll follow Ori back to the path. Stay close, follow my voice if you freak – we'll be fine." Cat's voice was soothing and calm. Caleb felt his heart beat slow as she spoke, authority clear in her voice. From the murmured agreements, her voice seemed to have the same effect on everyone else.

They carried on walking, Cat's voice murmuring encouragements now and then which calmed Caleb greatly. Kili's hand still grasped his arm and he felt as though things would turn out alright.

"Miss Catherine?" Ori's voice sounded panicked. "There's something sticky on the rope."

There was the sound of scuttling, legs moving over ground at a hurried pace and of course things wouldn't turn out perfect. That never happened. Caleb heard Cat's breath speed up drastically and pale, glossy eyes loomed in the darkness – insect eyes.

And Caleb had enough and he took his pack off his back, undid the top and pulled out the flashlight he had gotten from Cat's bag and flicked it on, illuminating the area and the creatures that currently surrounded them.

He was slightly relieved that none of the dwarves had questioned his torch, but that was probably because of the giant spiders. The high pitched scream came from Cat and he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a few of the dwarves forming a protective circle around her as they grouped together, the torch in Caleb's hand picking out the spiders one by one.

There had to be at least a dozen of the eight legged things surrounding them in the clearing. Caleb glanced at the company and did a brief head count – they were all there but Bilbo and Thorin. At least nothing had changed drastically, except from the fact that they weren't tied up yet, and that they had the advantage of light – they could fight them now. Cat's scream had died, but Caleb knew it would be a silent scream now, eyes wide with fear as her brain refused to allow her to move, because any direction she did move in would lead her closer to one of the spiders. Caleb wanted to hug her, to protect her, but the entire group would serve as a better defence against the giant arachnids.

There was a screech and a thud and Caleb swung his arm in the direction, seeing one of the spiders on the floor, dead. Thank God for Bilbo and his sword.

Eventually the dwarves began to join in with the fight, swords slashing and hacking, Caleb firing arrows when he could, hitting the spiders in one of their eight, creepy eyes almost every time. Cat was unable to fight, paralyzed with fear. There were too many, though, and Caleb knew they would soon be overwhelmed. That was when the singing began.

"Here I am, naughty little fly;

You are fat and lazy.

You cannot trap me, though you try,

In your cobwebs crazy."

There was an angry clicking of pincers as the songs got more offensive, or at least Caleb supposed they were meant to be offensive, and they followed the voice, leaving the dwarves, Cat and Caleb safe.

"What is that thing?" Fili asked, only now realising that they had never seen an item like that in Caleb's hands.

"Not now." He panted in response. "Get back to the path and get the hell out of here."

"But what about Bilbo?" Kili asked.

"He'll find us – just move!"

So they did, following the light from the torch still in Caleb's hand, and sure enough Bilbo found them again. He explained about his ring again, and Caleb found himself having to stop from throwing it far off into the forest, where it would be almost impossible to be found again.

Unfortunately, Ori had dropped the rope, the sticky stuff on it being spider web, so they were left wandering in the forest, completely lost without food or water. Cat had calmed down, now able to walk without being supported, though her eyes still darted from side to side nervously.

Fortunately (or unfortunately in the dwarves minds), they were found by a group of elves, just as the torch's battery ran out, which Caleb figured was really lucky. They were led away, blindfolded apart from Cat, as apparently their king would not approve of a woman being treated like a man or whatever.

Before the blindfold covered his eyes, Caleb caught no sight of Bilbo and found that he was really, really glad that he hadn't thrown that ring away, after all.

XoOoX

I don't even…

I'm not overly happy with this because I'm partially exhausted and my thoughts ran away, but I've finished it! *cheers*

Thinking of having a tiny part of Kili's POV next chapter – mainly Cat, but some Kili right at the end. What do you think?

For those of you reading my PJO/TMI crossover, I have the actually chapter typed up, just need comments – hopefully will be up by/on Wednesday.

I have some awesome ideas for the next chapter, so if the wait is long, it should be worth it!

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	12. Catherine XII (feat Kili!)

To be honest, Cat was just glad there were no more spiders.

She hated the little ones, so ones that were bigger than her seriously made her consider her priorities.

She could conquer her fear of little ones.

Possibly.

Ok, no she couldn't. Cat was now mentally scarred for life. For life. Thanks a lot, Caleb, for warning her in advance that maybe Mirkwood would have a slightly out of hand infestation of giant spiders. Quite frankly, she didn't blame him – if he mentioned them, they'd probably still be at Beorn's, attempting to drag her off the fence she would be clinging to in a desperate attempt to stay away from big, eight legged insects.

Normally, Caleb would insert something about them being arachnids, but to be honest, Cat didn't care. They were still creepy.

Currently, though, they were out of the more tree-ish part of the forest and in the palace of Thranduil. Or something along those lines. It was very much palace-like, all elvish and pretty, but there was an air of darkness to it.

_The Greenwood is poisoned…_ Radagast had mentioned that. Cat was actually relieved that she had a good enough memory to remember what he had said in the movie – she was too busy staring at him and wondering what he was on when she met him this time around.

The elf on the throne was, obviously, Thranduil. He looked high and mighty, in silver robes and such, his crown bedecked with red and orange leaves, red berries amongst the wood making the main structure of the crown. An autumnal theme – autumn was coming quickly. That actually made a lot of sense, considering. She hadn't had time to actually check what month it was, but they must have been here for months or something.

That was a scary thought.

Next to him was a figure Cat recognised – Legolas Greenleaf. She recognised him from the Lord of the Rings movies, of course – she'd never got around to reading the books because _they must be more than a thousand pages, Caleb, _but the films portrayed him perfectly, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked like a tiny replica of his father. It was odd, considering the actors had an age difference of two years, Orlando Bloom (boy, was he handsome) being two years older than Lee Pace.

"What are two men and a group of twelve dwarves doing in my realm without leave?" Thranduil leaned forward. Cat held back a snort. "I am talking to you, Miss Adams." Cat stared, blinked, and then stared a bit more.

"How do you know my name?"

"Lord Elrond informed me of you and your brother." Cat could have kicked herself for forgetting to tell Elrond that Thranduil was out of bounds. Well, that was a really stupid move. "And your…unusual past."

Cat froze and she could almost hear Caleb do the same, as well as the whispers of 'what is he talking about?' from Kili, and the murmured sounds of confusion from the dwarves. Thranduil feigned shock.

"They do not know? Why, I thought you travelled with them, all the way from Rivendell?"

"We have done." Cat raised her head slightly, realising how awful she must look, but not caring. She wasn't about to show weakness in front of this…this _king_. "And we will tell them when it need be."

"Why not now?"

"Because it will be under your wish that I will tell them." Cat could feel her head throbbing and tried – she really did – to hold her tongue. But, as it were, things never worked according to plan. "I am not one of your subjects, Thranduil, therefore I am not under your command or control, and as much as you despise him, Thorin has come to terms that, yes, I am not going to conform willingly to his demands, no matter his status or bloodline. He may be emotionally constipated and have the same amount of common sense as a concussed duck, but he will be ten times the ruler than you will ever be." She paused. "Well, maybe not in size."

"Catherine…" Cat ignored Caleb's groan.

"But he does have feelings, even if he finds it hard to show them, and has accepted me and my brother as valued members of his company, which is better than what I expect you would do. He doesn't need to know about our past, and neither do any of the dwarves standing behind me, and I bet even if they did know that Caleb and I were not from this world, they wouldn't judge us any differently from how they judge us now."

Deafening silence apart from the sound of Caleb's palm hitting his forehead. Cat blinked and then re-evaluated her words and…

Well, shit. That didn't go to plan.

"What do you mean, not from this world?" Fili sounded slightly betrayed and Cat winced.

"We were going to explain." She replied, although she knew that they had no real intention of telling them. It would sound unbelievable. "But no right time came, and would you have believed us?"

"I…" Fili worried his bottom lip, before looking up, gaze turning determined. "It doesn't change who you are, at all, though."

"Actually, it makes a lot of sense." Ori piped up. "Like why half of the things you said didn't make sense."

"True that." Caleb grinned at the confused look Ori got from Cat's statement.

"Nothing is different." Kili confirmed. "Nothing at all." Cat turned back to the elven king, smiling smugly.

"I was right."

"It appears as though you were." A slightly amused smile was playing about his lips. "Because of this…unexpected display of loyalty, I think I will give your company a chance to leave Mirkwood, with the help of my elves. However," his addition to the statement caused Balin, who had moved forward from the group, to retreat once more. "You must choose, Miss Adams, how you wish it to be judged."

Well, yeah, this wasn't going to end well and Cat basically spoke the first word that came to mind.

"Riddles."

"What?" Thranduil had rather abruptly lost his high and mighty demeanour at the pretty sudden comment from Cat. But she snapped up, eyes blazing, brain running like a clockwork machine.

"A game of riddles." She replied, a smirk crossing her face. "Five each. If I win, we can go, along with the dwarf in your dungeon. You win, we stay here."

"And in the case of a draw?" Thranduil actually sounded contemplative, but maybe word of her loose tongue and less than sharp mind had got around the elves. Cat was panicking slightly – why did she say riddles? Stupid Bilbo and Gollum.

"We stay here." She ignored the moans from the dwarves – they would escape anyway, she knew that much. "We trespassed in your land, it is only fair."

"Fine. I shall accept your proposition, Miss Adams." His eyes sparkled with challenge. "You may go first."

Cat bit her lip, brows furrowing as she thought. The riddle almost exploded from her as it came to mind.

"A mile from end to end, yet as close to as a friend.

A precious commodity, freely given.

Seen on the dead and on the living.

Found on the rich, poor, short and tall,

But shared among children most of all."

Thranduil leaned back in his throne, a contemplating look on his face. Cat bit her lip, trying to stop the answer from crossing her face, though it was obvious in her eyes. Thranduil smirked.

"A smile." The look on her face must have given it away, and his voice echoed around the room as he spoke.

"It cannot be seen, it cannot be felt,

Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,

Lies behind stars and under hills,

And empty holes it fills.

Comes first follows after,

Ends life kills laughter."

Cat could have laughed in relief – dear God, that was really good luck.

"Darkness." She replied and Thranduil inclined his head, and Cat spoke the next riddle.

"What force and strength cannot get through,

I, with a gentle touch, can do.

And many in the street would stand,

Were I not a friend at hand."

Thranduil looked contemplative, his lips pursed slightly.

"A key?" Cat nodded, and Thranduil spoke once more.

"I appear in the morning but am always there.

You can never see me though I am everywhere.

By night I am gone, though I sometimes never was.

Nothing can defeat me but I am easily gone."

Cat bit her lip. Appears in the morning? Never seen? Night is gone, sometimes never was? That was so confusing. Like the answer was shielded by the thick canopies of Mirkwood…

Her eyes widened. "Sunlight." Thranduil gave a slight smile, and gestured with his hand for her to continue.

Well, she was out of ideas, so went from one she had read – thank J.K. Rowling for Harry Potter.

"The first is a person who lives in disguise who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.

Then think of a letter that's last to mend the middle of middle and end of end.

Now think of a sound which is often heard in search of every unknown word.

Put it together and answer me this, which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?"

Thranduil frowned, a crease appearing between both his eyebrows as he thought, lips pursed together in concentration. Cat almost laughed – the riddle from a book might be able to thwart the elven king.

"I am afraid I do not know the answer." He spoke eventually.

"It was a spider." Cat replied. "Your turn."

"Voiceless it cries,  
Wingless flutters,  
Toothless bites,  
Mouthless mutters."

What was it with her luck today? Two riddles from the film?

"Wind."

"Correct, Miss Adams."

"The thunder comes before the lightning,

And the lightning comes before the cloud,

The rain dries all the land it touches,

Wrapping the earth in a blood red shroud."

Another one which caused the king to frown and she crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping…

"A volcano, I believe."

No luck. She nodded, which prompted the next riddle.

"I'm up and down and round about,

yet all the world can't find me out.

Though thousands have employed their leisure,

they never yet could find my measure.

I'm found in almost every garden,

In a compass or a farden.

There's neither chariot coach nor mill

may move one inch except I will."

Cat frowned, thinking. Round about? Can't find me? Will move an inch…wait. What did a chariot have? Wheels. And they were…

"A circle." Thranduil nodded and Cat grinned, before thinking. Her mother had a lovely necklace once, with little white beads…oh, wait a second.

"Lovely and round,

I shine with pale light,

Grown in the darkness,

A lady's delight."

Almost instinctively, her hand went up to her neck, the pearls from her mother's necklace, though not there, still weighed heavy. She had broken it, accidently, and had gotten in so much trouble.

"A pearl." Cat nodded, and Thranduil spoke the final riddle.

"I lack much reason, but often rhyme,

And require logic to pass the time,

To get the words to tell your kin,

Look for clues that lie within,

Though all are different, they act the same,

The answer is practically in the name."

Cat froze. She had to get this one right, she had to, but nothing sprung to mind. Was this how Bilbo felt when he was struggling for answers, like the world was falling out from under his feet?

"I…"

"You do not have an answer." It was not a question and Cat felt herself choke, feeling helpless. "I will treat your friends well, with food, but until you speak of where you are going, you will remain there." There was a pause, filled with a deafening silence, and Thranduil nodded. "Very well. Take Miss Adams to a guest room, the rest down to the cells."

Cat couldn't cry, she couldn't feel, her heart pulsing in her throat. She felt her vision become blinded by tears as the dwarves made no struggle, only staring at her as she looked at the floor.

"The answer was, by the way, the bargaining game you used." Thranduil said. "Maybe next time, you will not choose riddles."

Cat, in that moment, decided that Thranduil was a git.

XoooX

Cat hated being confined. Sure, she had a bed and a bath and food, but she was trapped. She hated not being able to get out and wander at free will, hated having to pace back and forth along the same path every single day. She'd had her pack checked for weapons, and was allowed to keep it, once her hair grips were removed. Rummaging around the bottom, she'd managed to find one they had missed, but the locks must have been magical, because it wouldn't unlock.

Yes, she could pick locks. Not like she did it often – it was a fun past time which annoyed Caleb greatly.

She would lie on the bed most of the time, staring at the ceiling for hours on end, wondering how she would escape. It was rubbish, being held prisoner, but she wasn't going to spill. She wasn't going to betray the dwarves.

This was the second time Cat had done this.

She really deserved more than one sixteenth of the treasure, in her opinion.

After what felt like weeks, she heard Bilbo's voice and thanked God, Aule and any other deities for the little hobbit.

"Bilbo?"

"Cat, I have a plan to get us out – the king's planning a party of some sort and –"

"There are barrels. We're using them." She leant her forehead against the door. "Look, I'm sorry for not telling you earlier about –"

"It's fine, Miss Catherine." Bilbo replied. "I understand why you wouldn't tell us. I just need you to stay put until tonight. I'll get you out first, then onto your brother and the other dwarves."

"Bilbo, you're a star." She could almost hear the hobbit blushing. "Honestly, we'd probably be here for months if not for you."

"I think –"

"I'm being serious. Dwarves and men are stubborn as stone." She said. "Thank you – now run, before the guards come back."

It wasn't that long a wait, she thought, when the door swung open and Bilbo appeared, ushering her out.

"We need to get past the main hall as quietly as possible." He whispered and Cat nodded, the two stealing away down corridors like cats. They soon reached Fili's cell, who practically tackled Cat with relief. The girl staggered slightly.

"They didn't do anything to you, did they?" He sounded concerned and Cat wondered why, before it dawned on her and she wrinkled her nose.

"Ew, gross. No way!" Fili seemed satisfied, but stayed close to her anyway.

Then it was Kili, then Caleb, who was embraced by all three of them at once, Bilbo standing by the door nervously as Kili murmured stuff about how he didn't care about the fact that he wasn't from middle earth. The same obviously applied to Cat.

Soon, all of them were free and not all were looking forward to the barrel ride.

"Look." Cat snapped as the complaints rose. "Do you want to stay here, imprisoned, never to return to Erebor, or do you want to get out of here as soon as possible?"

That stalled any complaints and they all took to a barrel.

It was stuffy in the barrel, and Cat was cramped. Thankfully, she was small enough to fit in well enough; otherwise they would be in a bit of a sticky situation. She really didn't want to be shoved into a tiny room again, where she would be slowly driven to insanity.

Not that she wasn't already partially insane, mind. But her brand of insane was perfectly healthy.

She felt the barrels rolling, felt the drop and heard the splash, before they were rolling along the river.

Cat settled down comfortably, closing her eyes. This was going to be a long journey, might as well get some rest.

XoooX

Kili wasn't sure how long it was when the barrels came to a stop, but they did and he was relieved when he could breathe in fresh air.

It seemed to be an instinct that he looked around for Caleb now. He felt protective of the boy, as though he were more capable of defending him and such.

After a conversation with Fili, who mentioned what Cat had told him and questioned Kili on his feelings, Kili realised that, yes, he was in love with Caleb and no, Thorin could not find out at any cost. To be honest, he couldn't care less now, because he hadn't seen him in weeks and he felt the loss like a massive, gaping hole in his chest.

He needed to find Caleb, and fast.

They were all out and Kili was panicking. He couldn't find Caleb and was pushing through the dwarves trying to spot him and…

There he was. Standing on the edge of the river, hair slightly damp and clothes dirty but if Kili didn't want to kiss him then, he concluded he never would.

So that's what Kili did.

Kiss him, that is.

Kili launched himself at Caleb, who hadn't been prepared, sending them both falling into the river, Kili's lips crushed against Caleb's as the water soaked them to the bone.

The catcalls were painfully obvious and, when Caleb didn't respond, Kili realised that, maybe, his brother's assurances of _he does like you back _may not be correct. He tried to pull back, to apologize, but a hand knotted in his hair, preventing him from moving away, but pulling him closer, their lips melding together perfectly and Kili felt something inside him explode.

He suspected it was his heart.

The river water seemed to fade away, the coldness seeping into his skin replaced by a slowly growing warmth. The catcalls, the loudest from Cat and Fili, faded away into white noise as Caleb opened his mouth slightly to Kili's probing tongue and why hadn't they done this before again?

Fili had told him it was because they were stupid, oblivious idiots.

And why was he thinking of Kili again, while Caleb was exploring his mouth with a delightfully wet muscle?

He felt one of Caleb's hands move to cup his cheek, thumb running over the stubble there and Kili curled his fingers around Caleb's, now quite long, hair. He thought how incredible it would be to place his braid in there and shivered at the thought.

They finally pulled apart when air became necessary, Caleb's eyes slightly glazed over.

"About bloody time!" And the moment was completely ruined by Cat's cry and Fili fist bumping her in a way which seemed to mean 'mission accomplished'.

Caleb groaned in embarrassment, hiding his face against Kili's neck, and the youngest dwarf could only laugh.

XoOoX

I don't even…you know what? I've done it.

Yes, a riddle duel between Thranduil and Cat. Blame Gollum and Bilbo. And the fact that I think Thranduil doesn't find Cat insulting, only very, very entertaining.

And Cali kiss! WHOOP!

Someone mentioned they were interested in my sequel *coughJascough* so I'm gonna give you some insight *cue sparkles*.

Cat and Caleb will be in it, but only as minor characters. The main plot will be focused around two new characters – Tammith and Will, another boy-girl pairing. They have spent lots of time around Cat and Caleb – I'll leave you to speculate why.

I saw the Desolation of Smaug trailer the other day and died. It was too awesome for words.

Anyway, hope this was alright!

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz


	13. Caleb XIII

They had to explain on the way to Laketown.

Well, technically, they had all agreed to stop in a small thicket of trees and get a fire going in an attempt to dry their clothes and hair. Bilbo hadn't stopped sneezing, trembling and shaking. Thorin wasn't leaving the hobbit's side, sitting close to him. Caleb noticed that he had removed his fur coat and wrapped it around the burglar's quivering shoulders, and he hoped that his talk with the dwarf king had done some good.

Fortunately, it seemed that Bilbo had, in fact, informed Thorin of the recent development of knowledge of Caleb and Cat's home and, though he looked incredulous, had accepted it. To be honest, Caleb thought it was mostly because they hadn't tried to kill him in his sleep, and it explained Cat's weirdness.

That seemed to be the reason most of the dwarves believed them, anyway.

Currently, his sister was sitting next to him, rummaging through her backpack. But, there were two…

"You got mine?"

"'Course I did." Cat said absent-mindedly. "That has all the required information needed and such."

"Required information?" Fili was close enough to them to pick up on that, and the fact that Cat no longer needed to keep her voice down because of the whole incident with Thranduil and the fact that she couldn't control what came out of her mouth.

"We have a lot of explaining to do." Caleb sighed, running a hand down his face. He was still dripping wet, not like he cared – his lips were still tingling and he felt warm inside. It was because of that kiss, of course, and he didn't care if his clothes got drenched for it. Totally worth the smile on Kili's face and the hand currently in his, fingers laced together. "It's Cat's fault – she should start."

"Caleb…"

"Go on, then." Thorin leant forward slightly, not straying too far from the hobbit's side, eyes curious. "Tell us of your past, Miss Catherine."

And she did, explained about waking up on the side of the road and being found by Gandalf. About the fact that they had no idea how they had gotten here and about how everything was so different.

The dwarves cut in now and then, with realisations – 'no wonder you're not betrothed!' being the most amusing one from Fili, which caused Kili to snicker and Cat to roll her eyes. Overall, they were quiet and attentive, listening with interest to her story until she drew to an end.

"But, there is more." She said. "And Caleb can explain that to you. I still can't get my head around it." All eyes were on Caleb and he felt his palms begin to sweat. Cat mouthed the word 'books' to him and he almost yelled out no because how, exactly, did you explain to a group of people that they were actually fictional characters?

"Caleb?" Fili had his head tilted to one side and the boy sighed.

"I'll try – I need my bag, though." Confusion appeared on many faces, but still the bag was passed to him and Caleb drew out the book. The Hobbit. He flipped a few chapters forward and passed it to Kili. "Read that."

He did, silently, eyes growing wider and wider as he did so, before looking up at Caleb in shock and fear in his chocolate coloured eyes. Caleb hesitated, before drawing an arm around the dwarf, who curled into his side, further into the loose embrace.

"Kee?"

"It's…it's about us." He choked out. "About Beorn's and Mirkwood…everything."

There was a startled silence, as eyes turned to stare at the two. Cat had bitten her lip so hard that Caleb could see the blood she had drawn, startling red against her pale skin. Ori spoke up, voice trembling.

"You mean…the books Cat said you'd found…"

"It was about you." Caleb finished, running a hand through his wet hair, trying to find words. "This part is the more unbelievable…but you aren't supposed to be real. Or, at least, where we come from…our universe. But here you are."

"You knew what was going to happen all the time." Bofur sounded betrayed. "And you didn't tell us? That we were going to run into goblins? That wargs would attack us? The trolls? The spiders?" Cat shivered. Caleb winced.

"Yes. We did. And we didn't tell you, because would you really believe us? 'If we stray off the path, spiders will try to eat us', 'If we sleep in that cave, we'll get captured by goblins'?" He raised an eyebrow. "We know the future, or what is supposed to be the future – it doesn't mean we can use that knowledge haphazardly. Messing with time is dangerous."

"You know what's going to happen after the quest, don't you?" Dori said, voice calm. "You know if any of us are going to die." Caleb flinched violently and Kili started at the sudden removal of the arm around his shoulders, as Caleb wrapped them around himself as he tried to block out the thoughts flooding his head as the murmurs from the dwarves increased at the realisation. '_Fili and Kili had fallen defending him with shield and body_'…'_I go now to the halls of waiting to sit beside my fathers_'… but not just the deaths of his companions flooded his mind, no, but those of future times. '_I would have followed you, my brother, my captain, my king_'…'_I go to my fathers in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed_'… He wondered how the characters in the fanfictions Cat read managed to keep their composure and not break down at the mere sight of the characters who were supposed to die. He wondered how he'd managed to keep it in for so long.

"Stop it!" Bilbo's voice, stern and hard, cut through the murmurs, and Caleb registered the fact that his cheeks were wet. Tears. "Can't you see it's upsetting him?"

"Caleb." Kili's voice was gentle and soothing, like a feather almost. "Look at me." Caleb raised his head and found his dwarf, _his dwarf_, smiling at him soothingly. "You made a promise to Bilbo, and you told me you'd try to keep it – remember it?"

Caleb was lost for a while, and he remembered the words he'd spoken to Bilbo as they'd left Rivendell; _I promise that I'll make sure we all come out of this alive_. He also remembered the awful, empty feeling it had left him with when he realised that he may not be able to keep the promise. He nodded, however, and Kili took his hand, rubbing soothing circles on the back of it.

"You can keep that promise, âzyungâl, I know you can."

Ignorant to the stares of the rest of the company, Caleb only had eyes for Kili and, when he looked at his face, full of so much love and trust and belief, he felt as though, for the first time on this ridiculous quest, he could keep that promise made so long ago.

XoooX

It was when the guards pointed out the obvious when Cat lost it.

To be honest, Caleb wasn't overly surprised. He had expected Cat to rage at them as soon as they asked them their names, because it was such a Cat thing to do, plus she hadn't lost her temper over anything in a few days.

It was when they mentioned the fact that he, Kili and Bilbo were soaked that Cat exploded.

"Oh gee, really? I hadn't bloody well noticed! I think that is the main reason we are even here, to be honest, because Bilbo is barely standing on his own two feet and my brother and the dwarf are just as soaked and if they do not get inside with something warm, I swear to all the Valar that I will actually hurt you!"

Fortunately, her voice was full of worry and the guards knew that she meant no real harm, especially when just about all the company rolled their eyes at her. They were quite used to Cat's explosions by now, and that was one thing Caleb was grateful for.

They were led into Laketown, welcomed much more warmly after Thorin introduced himself. There had been a prophecy, or something along those lines, talking about the riches that Laketown would gain at the return of the king under the mountain. They were taken to the master of Laketown who was having a meal with some of the river elves.

There was ranting – something about the fact that they were no longer in Mirkwood and that they were no longer in Thranduil's territory and blah blah blah. Caleb was too wet and hungry to care. The food on the table smelt delicious – there was fresh meat, pork, it looked like, and he felt his mouth water as the smell assaulted his nose. He never thought he'd see the day when he longed to eat meat so much.

The river elves left, much to Caleb's relief, and they were, finally, left to eat with the master of Laketown, who was talking in quiet tones to Thorin. Cat and Fili were sat on the opposite side of the table to him, talking and laughing as though the whole incident about them only being characters from books had never happened. It was nice, he thought, that their relationship hadn't been screwed up because of that. They were good friends, he knew it, and it would hurt Cat tons if that was destroyed because of something they couldn't control.

He felt Kili resting his head on his shoulder and figured that he'd gotten off quite well, too.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"Your shoulder's comfy." Kili replied softly, letting out a sigh as Caleb laughed, taking a bite of some meat. He speared some of the pork on his fork, offering it to the dwarf.

"You've got to eat something, Kee. Don't want you to go hungry, do we?"

"I suppose…" He sighed mock dramatically, before taking the fork from Caleb's hand and shoving the food into his mouth. Caleb shook his head. Dwarves really had appalling manners. No matter how much in love he was with the prince who was currently helping himself to more food, Caleb would never deny that they definitely needed to work on improving the manners of dwarves at some point.

"It's nice, isn't it? To finally be under a roof where the person who owns the place doesn't want to hold us captive?" Cat sighed dreamily.

"We were at Beorn's a few weeks ago, and he didn't want to hold us captive." Caleb pointed out dryly. Cat stared.

"It was only a few weeks ago?" She seemed stunned at the realisation and Caleb nodded.

"Yeah."

"It feels like months."

Caleb had to admit he saw where Cat was coming from. He had often lost track of time on their journey. Now that he had time to think about it, it hit him hard about how long they must have been here for. He prayed silently that time had stopped back home, or else he and Cat were so dead. Caleb's thoughts drifted to his paper sitting idly on his desk and hid a wince. He still hadn't finished that, and doubted he would with this weighing on his mind.

The thought was wiped from his mind when rowdy singing started, an embarrassed Bilbo attempting to vanish under the massive table as the dwarves burst into raucous song, voices slightly slurred. Caleb didn't attempt to hide his smirk as he recognised the words from a very familiar Hobbit drinking song;

"Ho! Ho! Ho! to the bottle I go

To heal my heart and drown my woe.

Rain may fall and wind may blow,

And many miles be still to go,

But under a tall tree I will lie,

And let the clouds go sailing by."

"What are you smiling about?" Kili elbowed Caleb who impulsively kissed him chastely, partly to shut him up, but mostly because he wanted to. Pulling away, Caleb noted the grin on the prince's face and, out of the corner of his eye, the slightly longing look on Ori's face. It confused him, but Cat winked at him from the other side of the table, mouthing 'I've got this'.

Yes, because that made him feel so much better.

XoooX

"I don't know why you're going through the trouble of hiding it – just burn the thing." Kili cowered as Caleb turned on him, clutching the book to his chest.

"How dare you even suggest that!?" He said, stroking the cover of the book. "It's my baby!"

"I'm in love with a psychopath." Kili muttered, before speaking in a normal, yet exasperated, tone of voice. "Nori will find it wherever you put it – he is a thief, after all. Burning it is the best option."

"But Kili." Caleb whined. Kili rolled his eyes – his boyfriend was acting like a five year old who had just been told that he couldn't have another cookie. "What if we need it? To prevent bad stuff from happening?" He stuck out his lower lip. Kili determinedly avoided looking into his eyes – he knew he would cave if he saw them.

"Well, tell me one place Nori won't find it, and I might let you keep it."

To his surprise, Caleb shoved the book under the bed, propping his bag innocently in front of where he'd put it. "Done."

"Really? That is your hiding place?"

"Hey! The most obvious place to hide it will be the last place he'll expect." The bed creaked as the man got on it and Kili found himself on his back, Caleb's arms framing either side of his face as his breath heated his face. Caleb smelt earthy, wood like – not a common scent in dwarves, and not one that Kili would have normally expected to have on one of his bed partners, but he didn't really care. Caleb wasn't some fling. He was different. "Now, what are you doing in my room, my prince?"

"Your sister kicked me out of mine." He replied, hating how breathy his voice got as Caleb's scent enveloped him. He needed to develop immunity against whatever Caleb had done to make him turn into putty in his hands whenever Kili was in his presence. To be honest, the dwarf prince wasn't sure if he wanted to. "She needed to discuss 'plans' with my brother, apparently. She told me you wouldn't mind me staying in here, âzyungâl."

Caleb leaned further forward, rubbing his nose against Kili's in a fond gesture, before capturing his lips into a much deeper kiss than what he had given Kili in the hall. The prince grinned into it, hearing Caleb whimper when he nipped at the boy's lower lip, toying at it with his teeth languidly. Kili's hands came up to fist in his hair as Caleb's roamed down his body, fingers worrying the fabric at the bottom of his tunic. They pulled away for air, Kili feeling pleased and immensely smug at the slight flush gracing the taller boy's cheeks. Caleb obviously saw his smirk and scowled, planting a chaste kiss to the dwarf's lips, though he hadn't removed from his position.

Eventually, Caleb rolled to the side, collapsing onto the bed next to Kili, pulling the dwarf closer, and enveloping him in his arms. Kili smirked.

"A cuddler? Really?"

"Shut up." Caleb muttered into his hair, hiding his face in chocolate coloured tresses as Kili tried not to coo at the adorable trait he'd just found out his lover had.

Kili didn't like that word – lover. It sounded…tacky. And Caleb most certainly was not tacky.

"What would we be called where you come from?"

"Boyfriends, I suppose." Caleb answered, after pausing for thought. "Or maybe partners."

Partners…that sounded permanent. Surprisingly, the thought didn't worry Kili as much as he thought it would.

"What are relationships like where you come from?" Kili noted the stiffening of Caleb's arms and the way the boy pulled him closer to his body. He regretted asking the question, but Caleb answered anyway, voice careful.

"People aren't as…open as they are here. There was a lot of prejudice in earlier years – interracial marriage was banned – marriage between black and white people. I'd compare that to, say, a woman from one race getting married to a man of another – I'm assuming that's relatively common here." Kili nodded slightly – he'd heard of elves marrying men, and occasionally a dwarf marrying a man. He couldn't understand why that wouldn't be accepted, to be honest – in his mind, love was love. That's what his uncle said, and the way he looked at Bilbo…well, he was definitely practising what he preached. "Well, there's still a lot of prejudice but interracial marriage has been accepted but, well, not marriage for people of…of the same gender."

"What?" Kili breathed. "You mean, we…"

"If we lived where I live, we wouldn't be able to get married." As Caleb spoke more, his voice grew more hopeful. "But in certain places, like New York – a state in America, a country – same sex marriage has been accepted. Maybe, someday, I'll be able to get married."

"I don't want you to." Kili blurted out and Caleb froze, almost stunned and Kili internally scolded his loose tongue. He hadn't meant it to come out like that. "You're mine."

He could feel the waves of complete and utter amusement coming off Caleb and belatedly realised he had just sounded like a pouting child.

"You're such a child, Kee."

"Shut up."

Kili couldn't stay mad at Caleb for long, especially when he rolled on top of him and started another deep, laughter rumbling through his chest. Kili couldn't help but smile, hands coming up yet again to card through Caleb's hair, braiding three strands of the raven locks while their lips were still locked. Yes, Caleb was definitely his.

XoOoX

THIS TOOK SO LONG AND I'M SORRY!

My brain decided to die somewhere around entering Laketown and then family issues – my granddad has been in hospital for a bit. He's better now – we caught whatever it was just in time. And then I got summer homework from my induction day thingy at my new sixth form.

Oh, and I was introduced to Supernatural – mustn't forget that.

Look forward to Cat plotting with her faithful minions next chapter – bet you can't guess who they are ;)

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	14. Catherine XIV

"Why are you in my room again?"

"We're plotting, Fili. It's of great importance!" Fili rolled his eyes at Cat's overdramatic antics. Instead of sitting on the opposite bed, like Fili had suggested, she was propped up on the chest of drawers, arms waving madly as she spoke. "There are two more possible couples within the company that need to happen and I am enlisting you in my group!"

"Since when did I agree to this?" Fili asked, idly noting that the more extravagant earrings were now placed in Cat's ears. They looked very similar to the ones she wore the night he had met her. That was months ago and, despite the fact he really should be able to understand the girl by now, Cat still confused him greatly. "And what group? Your group of one?"

"You will help me, because you adore me and I can make your life a misery if you don't." Cat answered casually. "And I have enlisted someone else." As though on cue, a tentative knock came from the door and Fili, who was sensible and not perched where his feet dangled a few inches of the ground, answered it.

Bofur stood there, looking rather confused.

"Cat told me to meet her here…"

"You have 'enlisted' Bofur." Fili's statement was dry as he gave the girl an unimpressed look. Cat raised both hands in defence, whereas Bofur still looked baffled. Poor guy. No one should have to put up with the insanity that was Cat.

Fili felt a wave of respect for Caleb, who had lived with her for nineteen years. How was he not insane again?

"I would have enlisted Nori, but as his brother is getting paired up…" She shrugged. Bofur looked really confused now.

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"Cat has an insane plan to get members of the company together." Fili explained, ignoring Cat's indignant 'hey' at the mention that her plan was insane. "As if my brother and her brother getting together isn't enough."

"It isn't!" Cat argued, jumping off the chest of drawers, pulling a slightly amused, though still confused, Bofur into the room and closing the door behind him. She leaned against the door, blocking the only exit. Fili's plans of escape were foiled. "Honestly, it's sickening how sweet they are. But there are more couples to get together, which means making more people happy." She sighed dreamily. Fili shuddered.

"To be perfectly honest, I have no idea who you are thinking of pairing up." Bofur said. Cat's eyes took on a devilish gleam, which scared Fili. Like, a lot.

"Have you not seen the way Bilbo and Thorin look at each other?" Fili choked, Bofur stared, but Cat continued, seemingly oblivious to the distress of the two dwarves in the room. "Caleb told me Thorin was talking about relationships or whatever here and he kept looking at Bilbo, and Bilbo keeps smiling at him and getting flustered. And when me and Caleb were talking about where we came from, Thorin offered him his coat which is totally the first stage of da – Fili, what are you doing?"

"Trying to erase your words from my brain." Bofur pulled the heir away from the wall he was hitting his head against.

"Well, why didn't you get Nori? None of his brothers were mentioned." Bofur looked eager to escape. Fili honestly couldn't blame him.

"That's because Ori doesn't like Thorin or Bilbo." Cat rolled her eyes and Bofur deflated. Fili gave him an empathetic pat on the back. "He likes Dwalin." Bofur and Fili choked in unison. "And Dwalin like him back." Spluttering.

"You're joking, right?" Fili managed to get out. Cat looked offended.

"Of course I'm not joking." She said. "This is a matter of utmost importance and you two are helping me, or I will set you up with someone in revenge. I was thinking Nori for Bofur –" Bofur turned bright red and promptly hid his face in his hands. "– and, to be honest, I'll just make sure you walk in on our brothers making out." Cat smiled innocently at Fili who felt and looked rather sick at the thought.

"Ok." He raised his hands. "What's the plan?"

XoooX

"What you drawing?"

Ori started as Cat sat next to him, peering at the book he had opened, his quill once flying across the page in strokes. The parchment was slightly yellowed, and on it was a likeness of Bilbo. Cat allowed a slightly sad smile to grace her lips as she remembered it from the opening of the movie.

"That's incredible Ori." The scribe flushed slightly, mumbling a thank you. "You have a gift."

"I've drawn more." He murmured, his ink stained fingers flicking through pages before he handed the book to Cat hesitantly. "You can have a look, but be careful."

"I will be." She reached up to ruffle his hair fondly, and he half-heartedly attempted to bat the hand away. "I swear I won't kill the book."

She leafed through the pages carefully, eyes taking in every black line, every drop of ink. Cat couldn't read Khuzdul, of course, but the pictures were incredible. This was artwork, she thought absently as her eyes took in the features on a familiar dwarf prince's face, his head thrown back in a laugh as his dark haired brother tried to prevent Caleb from choking. That was back on the Carrock – weeks ago, it must have been. It amazed Cat how time got distorted when travelling. She twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. Yes, they had been travelling for a long time – normally she wouldn't have been able to see her hair when she did this.

"Are they good?" Ori asked, finger tugging on the hem of his jumper.

"Excellent. Where I come from, our artwork is atrocious." Cat said. "My drawing talent stops at stick men. Caleb is slightly better, but not by much. I don't think artistic skill runs in my family. But there are some paintings which are just…not paintings. They're canvases with bright coloured stuff splattered on them."

"That's art?" Ori looked really, really confused by that. Cat couldn't blame him at all – it confused her too.

She flipped the page, coming to a portrait of Dwalin. She sucked in a breath. It was so lifelike…so realistic. And done with a quill? Dear God, Ori definitely had a talent.

"How on earth did you…?"

"Practice." He was wringing the hem of his jumper nervously, cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment and pleasure at the appraising look Cat gave him. "It…it was hard but…it's my favourite."

"It's incredible." She murmured, taking note of Ori's words. There was definitely something there, something small, but there all the same. _It's my favourite…_ She found herself carefully running a finger over the inked tattoos on the head drawn on parchment, following the lines as she traced the outline. "Why is Dwalin your favourite?"

Ori spluttered and Cat realised that maybe she had phrased that wrong. When her mind was absent, slightly distracted, the words which came out of her mouth weren't as elaborate as they could be when she was actually thinking it through. She knew that much when she found out Caleb swung both ways – 'Hey, Caleb, I saw you snogging that blonde guy behind the bike shed today – pass the salt please?' Maybe she wasn't the best person to talk about these things.

"Sorry…that was phrased…badly." She said lamely, running a hand through her hair.

"As you say – you don't have filters." Ori piped up and Cat laughed, pulling Ori into a sideways hug.

"Don't you dare change." Cat grinned, ruffling his hair again. She couldn't help but remember Caleb telling her that Ori had gone to reclaim Moria and had died there. She would prevent that from happening, if she could. The scribe had grown on her over the past months, even if he was more like Caleb than her, and she really didn't want him to end up as a skeleton.

"I don't plan on it, Miss Catherine."

"Good." She tapped him on the nose fondly, earning herself a mildly annoyed look from the dwarf. "Listen to your gut, ok? And don't do anything stupid."

"Why do I have a feeling you're warning me about something?" He raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Cat merely smiled, handing him his open book back.

"I may be warning you about something, or I may just be giving you the extra push you need." Her eyes flickered meaningfully to Dwalin, who was sat at the other side of the room, watching the two with slightly wary eyes. Ori spluttered and flailed slightly. Cat merely clapped him on the shoulder, before standing up and heading off.

Hopefully, that was one relationship at least having a probability of getting started.

XoooX

To be honest, Thorin was the one Cat was afraid of talking to. She once again berated herself for not getting Fili to talk to him, but she wasn't sure if Bilbo would be happy talking to her about this particular manner. Plus, she and Thorin had that mutual respect thing going on.

Also, Cat rather liked her best friend staying alive.

She was amazed he'd managed to talk to Dwalin and remain unscathed.

So while Bofur was making conversation with a still slightly sick looking Bilbo, Cat closed in on her target, who was currently eyeing the two with something akin to jealousy or possessiveness.

Once again, Cat was correct in her assumption that Thorin was the jealous type. She could only hope he didn't kill Bofur for this. It would be awfully messy, and, truth be told, she really did like the guy. Even if his hat wasn't completely fashionable.

"Thorin." She sat on the empty seat next to him, propping her elbow up on the wooden surface and resting her cheek on one hand as Thorin turned to look at her.

"Catherine."

That was as far as she had planned, to be honest. Cat hadn't expected Thorin to reply, and now her mind was running through a list of appropriate expletives to use in this current situation. She told her brain to shut up.

Mentally, of course.

"When do you plan on making tracks?" Thorin gave her a confused look. Cat needed to remember that half of what she said probably made no sense to the company. "Leaving."

"As soon as Bilbo is better." He replied and, unknowingly, directed the conversation to the one topic Cat wanted to talk about.

The poor, unfortunate soul.

"How is Bilbo, anyway?"

"Still sniffling." Thorin's eyes were trained on the hobbit, who was talking animatedly to Bofur. Cat absently wondered what it was about. "And he has a slight temperature, but he isn't as bad as he was before."

"He's still stolen your coat, I see." Cat was amazed she hadn't noticed before, but the furs the dwarf normally wore were absent and she took the time to appreciate his build. Sure, she didn't like him _that_ way, but it didn't mean she couldn't appreciate a man with muscles.

"You're implying something." Darn, the king knew her too well. Cat put on an innocent smile, trying not to cringe at the scathing look Thorin sent her.

"Honestly, that accusation wounds me!" She placed a hand to her heart in mock hurt. Thorin snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you are definitely up to something." He scrutinised her. "You've roped my heir and Bofur into it, haven't you?" Cat's eyes flickered to Bofur, who had obviously heard Thorin's comment and smiled sheepishly.

"I hate you." She sighed, pouting at Thorin. "Was it that easy to tell?"

"Well, Fili may have told me…"

"That traitor."

"Only to you, he is." Thorin obviously found her annoyance highly amusing. The jerk.

"Caleb told me the talk you had with him about love and stuff."

"He did?" That had caught him off guard, and Cat cheered internally.

"Yeah. About how it doesn't matter about who you love and all. I think you should take your own advice, Thorin." He leaned forward, eyes scanning her face as though checking her for any amusement or a prank. The king seemed content with what he found as he leaned back, looking more relaxed.

"I think I will." The two sat in a companionable silence for a while, until; "I hope you aren't implying that you like me."

Cat choked. Thorin laughed.

She really did hate the king under the mountain.

XoooX

"What the hell do you mean they were already together?"

"Exactly what I said." Cat hated the smug look her brother wore. They were currently at dinner, most of it gone, though the twins were still eating. Some music had started up and the dwarves and some humans had begun to dance. That didn't lighten Cat's spirits. Her brother's eyes followed his dwarf across the room. Cat hadn't failed to notice the braids in both Kili and Caleb's hair and Fili's words from the Carrock – that braids were given when courting – had returned to the forefront of her mind.

"But…they…braids…"

"It's supposed to be secret." Caleb shook his head, as though in disbelief. "I can't believe they were thought they were fooling anyone."

"I didn't know. None of the others knew." Cat whined in annoyance. "You're just annoyingly observant when it comes to relationships beside yours."

"Yeah." Caleb completely ignored the insult to him and grinned at Kili who waved him over, smiling back just as happily. "Maybe you're right. If you'll excuse me…" And Caleb left her to dance with his dwarf. They were uncoordinated and awkward, but they were happy. Cat was happy for her brother, even if he was a bit of a git.

Bofur and Fili had stepped out of the throng of people to take a seat on either side of Cat.

"So…"

"They were already together?"

"I hate my brother for not telling me."

Bofur placed what was probably meant to be a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We all do."

XoOoX

Dododo, not too sure if I'm 100% happy with this…though the awesome friendship between Fili, Cat and Bofur is awesome.

Cat will get a man! ...In the sequel. You shall have to read it to find out who. (I totally ship it as well…I need to stop writing random scenes…) Feel free to guess, though!

The sequel takes place twenty years on, or sixty, depending on which angle you're looking at it from. It'll be following the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I'm thinking of pairings, but I think I get too scared to try them because they're clichéd and stuff. Offer me suggestions for any, or even encouragement to actually write my original ones – it would be greatly appreciated.

And now, a message for someone, because they don't have an account.

Jas - *hugs* I'm so glad I'm not alone in not having watched all of Supernatural! Yes, it is creepy – I'm warning you, don't watch episode five (I think) in the dark. I pulled an all nighter because it scared me really bad. You're awesome too! :D I wish you had an account – I so want to give people spoilers about my sequel XD I really shouldn't though. Because then no one will want to read it.

And that is all for now.

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


	15. Caleb XV

"I'm bored of being on the road again – can we go back to Laketown?"

"Cat, shut up."

Caleb could feel the waves of annoyance from his sister. He knew she was sick of riding horses and such for wherever it was they were going. To be honest, he couldn't blame her – horse riding was uncomfortable, as well as the sleeping arrangements. The fortnight they had spent in Laketown had been heavenly, mainly because it meant Caleb had slept on an actual mattress for the first time in ages. Not to mention they hadn't had to hunt for food or encountered things that would try to eat or kill them in the town.

Travelling again was rather a scary prospect, now that he thought about it. The time in Laketown may have made them more lax, less alert. Caleb sat up straighter, trying to stay awake, trying to make sure that he could see any oncoming danger.

"Hey, relax." Kili had moved up next to him, looking up at Caleb with his warm brown eyes. The haphazard braid Caleb had placed in his hair was at the right side of his face, at the front. It was a bit rubbish, a mess really, but Kili didn't seem to care. It was tied with a piece of string, what Caleb could find, the same with Caleb's, but that could be easily sorted. "Smaug'll scare off most of the nasty creatures off, just by his scent."

"Yeah, because that's comforting." Cat snorted, brushing her hair behind her ear in mild annoyance. "Because a dragon totally won't kill us."

"Shush." Caleb held up his hand, indicating his request and Cat huffed, crossing her arms, before grabbing the reigns hastily when she remembered she was on top of a horse. Fili snickered at her. Cat shot him a contemptuous glare.

"We are nearing the ruins of Dale." Caleb turned his head to spot Balin, who was talking to Bilbo. Caleb was now painfully aware of the stone under his horse's hooves. Their journey was nearly over – it was a very scary thought.

Would they go home, or would they stay after? Caleb wasn't sure which option her preferred at the moment, especially since he now had a dark haired dwarf in this world, but his mother in the other.

"Wow…Dale must have been massive before Smaug." Caleb snapped out of his thoughts to take in the sight of the ruins at Cat's comment. She'd jumped off her horse, as had the other dwarves, who were riding ponies, and was walking along a partially destroyed stone wall. Her arms were spread wide, as though she were balancing on a tightrope.

"Get down from there." Caleb sighed, sliding off his horse and giving it a pat on the flank. "You are disrespecting the citizens who died here, you know."

"How is this disrespecting them?" She asked, before jumping off the stone remains. "You walked along ruins and stuff back home. Remember Greece?"

"That was different." Caleb muttered, before walking away from a laughing Cat to observe the still remaining foundations. He wished that he had a talent with designing buildings – seeing Dale in its glory, rebuilt and standing, bustling with businesses and people, must have been amazing. He wondered if he would ever get to see it like that, but highly doubted that possibility.

"I never lived here." Caleb started at Kili's voice. He was sat on one of the stone walls, a fact that mildly bothered Caleb. His eyes were scanning the ruins, slightly sad. "It's a shame, really. Uncle and mother talked about it a lot. It sounded incredible, and brought most of the wealth to Erebor. Well, aside from what envoys brought to our great grandfather."

"Because of the Arkenstone, right?" Caleb was trying to reconfirm that fact and felt a shiver of fear go up his spine at the word. That was one problem he wanted to sort out as soon as possible. If he had a choice, he would throw it into Mount Doom, along with the One Ring. "He thought it made his claim to the throne more secure or something along those lines I think."

"From what I know, yes." Kili hummed. He slid off the wall, scuffing the ground with his boot. "How much about me did you know before you came here?" Caleb raised an eyebrow, but answered the question nonetheless.

"I knew that your brother was called Fili, your uncle was Thorin and your mother was called Dis. You were the youngest in the company, and skilled with a bow and arrow – not to mention slightly reckless and handsome." He smiled slightly and ruffled Kili's hair. The dwarf didn't look overly happy.

"Did…are you only with me because…because of what you've read?" Caleb blinked and resisted the urge to laugh at the absurdity of the question.

"Of course not. I'm with you because of you. You are amazing, Kee. Being here just enforced what I already knew and knowing you, spending time with you, made me fall for you." Caleb took one of his hands in his own. "I fell in love with the you I met, not the one I read about."

"I don't know whether that should be taken as a compliment, or not." But he was smiling, so Caleb considered it a job well done. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders, idly tugging on the braid in the dwarf's hair.

"It's a compliment. Come on – let's head back to the group, before they think we've been eaten."

XoooX

"So…this is the door. It's unimpressive, isn't it?"

Cat was criticizing the dwarf door. Caleb resisted the urge to smack her and Fili sniggered. The older members of the company shot her criticising looks.

"That's because it is a dwarf door." Balin explained. "It is only shown when the key is revealed, and at the correct time."

"Well, that's pretty useless." Cat snorted, rapping her knuckle on the flat stone surface. "Note to self, never get a dwarf door." Caleb did hit her this time. "Hey!"

"Cat, shut the hell up." He stared at the stone, slightly sullen. "Well, the wait is going to be fun."

"What do you mean, the wait?" Nori's brows furrowed and Caleb gave him a disbelieving look.

"Did no one tell you what Elrond said?" He turned to look at the three who were there, who all looked rather sheepish. It was an odd look on Thorin. Caleb let out an exasperated sigh. "Dwarves, honestly. Basically, we've got to wait until Durin's day, and when a thrush knocks on the door. Then the key hole will show and we'll be able to get in."

"Why don't we send Bilbo in the front entrance?" Gloin suggested almost hopefully. Bilbo made a noise of protest and Thorin pulled the hobbit to his side protectively. Caleb snorted.

"That right there is a suicide mission. I know where Gimli gets his recklessness from. Possibly his hatred of elves, too." Gloin spluttered.

"You know of my son?"

"Yup." Cat chirruped happily. "You'll be ever so proud of him. But that's beside the point." She settled down in front on the door, stretching her legs out in front of her, trying to get relaxed. "Get comfortable, boys, because it's going to be a long wait."

"But –" Cat held up a hand, silencing Bofur.

"Do you want me to go through with my earlier idea, Bofur? Because I will." He shut up effectively, glanced at Nori quickly, before sitting down and beginning to carve on some wood from his pack. "Good boy."

"Cat, stop threatening the company."

"But it's fun!" She protested, resting her head against the stone wall, closing her eyes. "Now sit down and someone make food – we're going to be waiting for a while until the door opens. Might as well eat in the meantime, no?"

"Your sister has no self-preservation skills, does she?"

"Hey!"

"No, Dori, I'm afraid she doesn't."

XoooX

It was Bilbo who announced the arrival of the thrush, and with that, their only opportunity to open the door.

Thorin fumbled for a few seconds with the key, before placing it into the small hole and turned it. The rock made a cracking noise, a groan, like rusty hinges on a door that had not been opened in ages. Eventually, there was a gap made, a yawning doorway into the mountain, trailing on into the blackness. It was creepy just looking at it, and Caleb immediately mentally applauded Bilbo for going down there…when he would be. Or when he did in the books.

The whole idea of it was really confusing.

The company encouraged Bilbo to head down, which he did so, as it was part of his contract.

Then came more waiting.

Cat had taken to throwing small rocks off the mountain side and onto the plains stretched out below them. She was soon accompanied by the two princes and Nori, competing with each other to see who could throw them the furthest. Cat loudly declared it was unfair, as Kili was an archer, so would be able to throw it further, before cackling madly when she managed to throw her stone further than the dark haired dwarf.

"How do you put up with your sister without going insane?" Caleb started, before turning his head to see Bofur leaning against the mountain side next to him, observing the four who were returning to throwing rocks.

"I've lived with her for nineteen years – she's an acquired taste." He shrugged a shoulder, watching Kili as he elbowed his brother, causing the rock he had been preparing to throw to veer off course, Cat and Nori hollering with laughter. They were children, really. "What did she do to you?"

"Tried to pair me up with someone." Bofur replied. Caleb raised an eyebrow, but wasn't surprised really. "This was as blackmail to help me with her…scheme."

"Her attempt to get couples that were already together, together?"

"Yep."

"I pity you so much."

Bofur shot him an amused look, before returning his gaze to Nori, Fili, Kili and Cat.

"Thing is, I think she might have a point." Bofur said, causing Caleb to double take. The dwarf laughed. "Despite Cat's more annoying traits, she is good with guessing emotions, isn't she?"

"Yeah." Caleb murmured. "I guess she was the one who truly got me to accept Kili wanting to be with me – saying that I should be happy. Even if it was with a dwarf."

"Even one who you previously thought didn't exist?"

"Even that." Caleb smiled, watching Kili with fond eyes. "So I guess I should say to go with your gut, and just…be happy however you can. Even if the thought seems impossible. There is a high chance that it isn't actually as impossible as you thought."

"I shall keep that in mind – thank you." The two stood in companionable silence until the four got bored of throwing stones and began to pester them both, Cat and Kili on Caleb, Fili and Nori on Bofur. Eventually, Caleb got Kili to shut up by kissing him, which caused Fili and Cat to vacate the area, Nori merely snickering, leaning against the stone next to Bofur, who rolled his eyes fondly.

Fortunately only a few minutes later Bilbo returned, looking rather pleased with himself. In his hands he clutched a two handed, golden goblet. While the dwarves crowded around the cup, congratulating Bilbo and admiring it, Caleb was thinking.

There was something important about that cup…he just couldn't…he froze.

"Get inside the tunnel." He said, staring wide eyed. Bofur turned to look at him, brows furrowed.

"What?"

"Get inside the tunnel!" Caleb repeated, much more urgently. "Smaug's been with that treasure for years! He'll know when some of it goes missing! Get in get in get in!"

There was clamouring and soon everyone was squeezed into the tunnel. There was the sound of rocks and trees falling, blocking the entrance via the tunnel and, well, that was brilliant.

"Stupid cup." Caleb muttered, glaring at the golden item. "I should have remembered."

"You can't remember everything." Thorin said, looking down the tunnel into darkness. "Smaug has gone?"

"For a while." Caleb replied. "He'll come back again…if I remember correctly." He frowned slightly.

"Oh, brilliant." Cat muttered. "More waiting."

XoOoX

Oh my gods. So close to being finished. It's a really scary thought.

ANYWAYS, I'm gonna reply to reviews now, because it is entertaining :3

Fellowship of Avengers – Glad you enjoyed it :P Yup, Thorin and Bilbo were together, but Cat, being her, was oblivious to that fact. You've basically listed all the characters I contemplated Cat being with there XP is it bad that I know close to nothing about Elrond's sons? I mean, I know they're called Elladan and Elrohir, and are twins, but I've never read the books, and I'm too scared to look through the small library I have in the loft to try and find them. My mum said she'd help me look through the stuff we have up there, so, fingers crossed, I'll have them soon. When I looked for them, I came out with eleven books I'd previously thought I'd lost, so…

Rawrrrr3210 – Glad my updates keep you motivated and make chores less dull ^^ Don't worry – no Cat/Frodo in the future. It doesn't work in my mind.

PsychoBlonde – Happy you like the fact that it's a slash pairing. I enjoy writing it, too.

Chilled Souls of the Forgotten – Cat's fangirly-ness is based slightly off mine, too. When I love something, I cannot stop obsessing over it. Cat just takes it…further. Thanks for the love

QuayJaquelinXeomaraZendaya – Right, for the sequel, yes, Cat and Caleb will be in it, but not feature as much as Tam and Will. Cat will have more scenes than Caleb, mainly because of the story line I have planned out for her and her love interest which will be included. Caleb scenes will be more at the beginning and the end. If you PM me your guesses, I'll be glad to tell you if you're right or not – don't want anyone else figuring it out, do we? ;)

Also, since I haven't read the books, the sequel will be movie verse (please don't kill me), but probably include book characters – Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel, Erestor, the works. I know of them, because fanfictions. I read too many.

Anyway, sorry this took so long – I have, like, three essays to complete and I really can't be bothered, as well as lines to learn for my Drama lessons and my drama group and so much work *dies* So updates are slow. Plus, I'm working on my Mortal Instruments fic so yeah.

Read, review and all that jazz! ~ Jazz xx


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